Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Apple, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie

There are two places that I call home. One is Georgia, where I live now, and the other is California where I was born and raised. I lived in Key West for a few years, but that was never home. The only sentimental attachment I have to it is the fact that my daughter was born there.

Georgia has so many things I love. There are definitely four seasons. The summers are hot and sticky. The winters are cold with, hopefully, a couple days of snow. Spring is filled with blooming flowers and trees and fall is so vibrant it can literally take your breath away with its beauty.

California has so many things I love. The beaches that we went to every summer for the day or for a week. The mountains where I honeymooned or just went for a day trip. My favorite restaurant, Northwoods Inn. There are things there that Georgia doesn’t have; my family is there along with my friends.

My parents still live in the house that we moved into when I was two years old. The same people still live on that street. The Barkley’s live across the street. He was a teacher at my junior high and Kristin and Craig will always hold a special place deep in my heart no matter what.

The Kelly’s still live down the street. This is the family that might as well have claimed me on their taxes as one of their own. If I wasn’t at home, I was there. They have four kids and dinner time was my favorite time to be there. The table was loud and no topic was off limits. I learned things during those meals! Diana was the maid of honor in my wedding. Her aunt, Ruth, gave me my first office job. When Mr. Kelly died, I cried at his funeral like I had lost my own father.

Growing up, we always talked about how we would live close to each other and our kids would play together. I moved away before either of our kids were born, and they have never even had a chance to meet, let alone play together. We send e-mails to each other, funny jokes or pictures of our kids. Occasionally, we pick up the phone and call each other. Mostly to tell each other of a mile stone that has happened in our lives. Never just to chit chat. But there are things that have not changed since I have been gone. I recognize her voice the minute she says hello, she can make me laugh loud and hard over something stupid and we can fall into an easy conversation that is not strained or dull not matter how long between conversations.

Now that we are on Facebook, I can reach out to her daily. Not only her, but her mom too! But that doesn’t replace the dinners where her three brothers had me spitting my drink out my nose over something they said. Or the summers that we would run the water down her driveway and then slide down it for hours. Or sitting under the big tree out front eating saltine crackers with peanut butter that her dad had made for us. Or playing Hide N Seek outside.

I am trying to plan a trip to California right now. I am excited about it because it has been so long since I have been home.

And hopefully, our kids will get to play together.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Mom's Book

Last Christmas Courtney purchased, with her own money, a book for me. This is actually a great gift for me as I love to read. The book is entitled The Moms' Book for The Mom Who's Best at Everything.

When I opened the present, I thought she got me this book because she thought I was, clearly, the best at everything.

However, that was not the case.

The book is a handbook on HOW to be the best at everything.

Apparently, she thinks, I need some help in that department.

That could be because of the time I dropped her off at school when it was closed. Or the time she ate dinner at a friends house and I forgot and made her eat dinner again at home and she got sick.

Anyhow...let's go over this book shall we?

The first part of the book talks about how to get your kids out of bed in the morning and how to get them to stay there at night. It gives great tips like tickling their feet to wake them up or telling them a bedtime story that is not TOO exciting to get them to sleep. I guess this is better than set your alarm to get up and telling her that if she gets up again she is getting spanked I don't care if the house is on fire.

The second part of the book talks about how to have the BEST birthday parties. It has everything from different themes to recipes. REALLY? All of these parties are to be held at your house. Now tell me, who wants a bunch of kids at your house messing it all up? Birthday parties are to be held somewhere else and quite frankly, Publix makes a birthday cake better than anything I could make for a great price.

The next chapter talks about heroic moms. One in particular, Josephine Baker, adopted 12 kids and still managed to be a star of stage and screen along with undercover work in the 2nd World War. Bitch please. I am a mom to an autistic kid. She's got nothing on me. My one is like having 12, only I don't get a tax credit at the end of the year.

The next chapter talks about how to throw an instant dinner party when you child decides to invite 5 friends over without letting you know. Dinner Party? Are you out of your mind? First, my kid better ask first and she knows that and second, order pizza. Good Lord, why make it so hard that you need a book to tell you what to do. Get Papa John's on speed dial for crying out loud!

It goes on to talk about house work shortcuts. Here's a shortcut for ya - marry a military man. No one can clean a house like someone who was in the military.

It goes on to tell the reader how to take time to pamper themselves. I guess this author doesn't have kids because last night while I was trying to "pamper myself" by taking a bath (we really call that just good hygiene), Courtney came in 3 times and Oliver brought his ball in wanting me to throw it for him. So much for pampering.

If you are needing help in the parenting department, then this just might be the book for you.

But let's face it, you and I both could write a book about how to parent. It is just that no one will publish it because it is TRUE LIFE.

Monday, December 21, 2009

The Odd Couples

You know what is funny?

Not funny as in ha, ha. Funny as in…I don’t really have a word for it, funny as in odd.

It is funny how people come into your life.

Scott and I are friends with a couple who are too old to be our parents, but not old enough to be our grandparents. They are between that. They are tweeners!
This couple includes us in family functions. They remember all of our birthdays. They make sure that we are not alone for holidays. They have helped me and guided me through part of my adult walk with God. They hug us when we walk in and when we leave.

Last night we had our Christmas with them. There was great food and even better company. It came time to open the gifts and I must tell you that we received the best gift last night! They must have saved every single picture they have ever taken of Courtney and made us a calendar. There are pictures of her when she was 4 and 5 years old. There are some I don’t even remember being taken. And with each turn of the page, there she was again and again growing up.

We will treasure this gift and I can’t wait for January to get here so I can hang it up!

I am grateful for their gift and their friendship.

Who would have thought that all of us would be as good as friends as we are?

Whatever it is we have, the dynamics of it work.

And that might be odd, but it is also really great!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Chorus Performance

So last night we went to West Hall Middle School's Christmas - excuse me - Holiday Choral Performance. The 7th and 8th graders were in their formal wear with everyone hair fixed and teeth brushed. The 6th graders were in their choral shirts and khaki pants. There was excitement in the air! Each class sang 5 songs. These were not traditional caroles either. They all, each grade, did a great job.

At least I think they did.

You see, we have to sit relatively close to the front, as Court is the smalles child in the chorus and if we don't sit close, we can't see her because she is blocked by Mr. Gomez, the teacher. So there we were in the 2nd row. In front of us is a mother with her 3 year old daughter. And this is where the trouble began.

First the little girl wanted to carry the sheep around from the Nativity scene that was in the front of the church. As everyone is performing, she is walking up and getting the sheep, then is told to go put it back, so she walks back up there to put it back. This happened SEVERAL times.

Then, in the middle of a song, she announces on the top of her lungs that she needs to go potty. So her mom takes her potty. They come back to the front row. She now has no shoes on and her princess panties are pulled up and over her jeans. She proceeds to run up and down the center isle of the church. Her mom keeps telling her to come sit down, but never once got up to get the child.

Then, the child decided to sit on the front steps of the church leading to where the kids are singing. She sat down and stood up, sat down and stood up, sat down and stood up. She then decided it would be fun to jump up and down each step. There were 5 steps in case you were wondering. Jump, jump, jump.

The mom finally decides to get up and go get her kid. When she bends over to pick her up her jeans slipped down. She wasn't wearing princess panties. In fact, she wasn't wearing any panties at all. We all got to see the mom's butt crack! The kid decides to scream that she doesn't want to go sit down, so the no underwear wearing mom leaves her where she is to continue doing whatever it is she was doing, which I can't remember right now because of the pain in my eyes from my retnas burning from the butt crack incident.

Finally, the performance was over and we gathered up our children and headed home.

Maybe that mom will ask Santa for some underwear for Christmas.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Me and You and A Dog Named Blue

We were living in Key West. Courtney was about 2 and I decided that we needed a dog. The reason I came to this decision is because the owner of the place where we all got our hair cut had a chocolate lab that hung out in the shop and Courtney loved that dog. So I begged Scott to take me to the Humane Society to look at dogs. It was against his better judgment, but he took me.

When we got there it was very loud. All of the dogs were barking at us trying to get our attention.

All except one.

She was in her pen just looking at me. When I came up to her gate, she came up to me, but didn’t bark. I told Scott this was the dog I wanted. She was a black lab. They didn’t know how old she was. They didn’t know where she came from. They didn’t know if she was good with kids. They just didn’t know anything about her.

But I wanted her.

We paid for her, but for some reason I don’t remember, we didn’t pick her up until the next day. She was full of ticks and had two different kinds of worms. We took her to the vet and got her fixed and she became a permanent part of our family.

We named her Blue, which really confused our child who was learning her colors at the time. A black dog named Blue was odd, but then so are we, so she fit right in.

She wasn’t a big barker at all. She came knowing how to sit and shake. Whenever we moved, all we had to do was walk the property line with her and she stayed in our yard. She never needed a leash to be outside. She would shake the grass or water off of her on command. She never destroyed any of our things. She was everything I wanted her to be.

I remember when we brought Oliver home she was so mad at us. She would be in the room with us, but would sit with her back to us. But eventually, she relented and liked him. She even shared her bed with him until he was just so annoying, then she would kick him off.

We had that girl for 11.5 years.

And there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss her!

If you are ever looking for a pet, please consider a rescue. There are a lot of animals out there that need a good home and there are a lot of families out there that need a good pet!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Life Is Good

The weather has turned cold in Georgia.

When it gets like this, all three of us prefer to stay home where it is warm.

This past weekend it was cold, and I convinced Scott to start a fire in the middle of the day. All three of us were in the living room together. No one was really talking, but we were together watching the fire and the TV. Oliver took his turn with each of us until it was time for me to get up and make dinner.

It was a simple day.

It will go down in history as one of my all time favorite days.

A good looking husband.

A beautiful daughter.

A nice warm fire.

A cute little dog.

Yep – life is good!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Does Jesus Make House Calls?

There is not a parent out there who hasn’t at some point in time wished that their child came with an instruction manual. There have been, and I am sure still will be, many times that I have been stumped on how to raise this child of mine. A book would be great. Let’s say I was getting a major attitude, I could flip to attitude, look up her age and read something about how it is against the law to kill her on the spot.

She was in 5th grade when she started waking me up in the middle of the night asking me questions about middle school. What if she can’t get her locker open? Why do you switch classes for each subject? I tried to tell her not to worry about it and to just concentrate on getting through 5th grade. But nothing I said would calm the child’s fears. Scott and I talked about it and decided we needed to address her anxiety with her doctor, because it seemed to be escalating. Her doctor informed us that it was not going to get any better until we put her on medication to help it.

Scott and I had always kind of been anti-meds. We were bound and determined to teach the child coping skills. How we were going to do this? We had no idea. We consulted doctors, we did research on the internet and we beat our head against the wall because nothing was working.

So we relented.

I remember crying and telling Scott how worried I was because these medicines mess with your brain and one thing Court really has going for her is her smarts. I told him that I just didn’t feel right doing this. While he agreed with me, he asked me what would make me feel better about it.

I told him I wanted Jesus to come down here and tell me face to face that I was doing the right thing.

He just smiled at me then told me he didn’t think he could make that happen.

So we decided that we would try this medicine and if we felt like it wasn’t working, we could take her off of it just easily as we put her on it.

And put her on it, we did.

And it worked.

For almost three years.

Then lately we noticed that she was starting to complain about a stomach ache and she was walking around with her shoulder up around her ears. This is a sure sign that she is anxious. And no matter what we said to her, it was the end of the world. So, we talked to her doctor and they decided to raise her medicine. They told us it could take up to two weeks to see a difference.

It has been 9 days.

And I have my happy kid back!

And I guess I don’t need Jesus to come down here. He handled it from right where he is!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Be Carfeul What You Ask Her.....

Christmas for the last several years has been celebrated with the DiMaggios. They are our dear Georgia family. This is a very extended family with Grandparents and Uncles too. These people not only accept my child for who she is, the actually love her. They make sure she is included in everything. Needless to say, they walk on water in my book.

This particular year Santa had brought a family gift instead of just a Courtney gift. He does that sometimes when he is on a budget. This is the year he brought Guitar Hero. And she loved it.

Or at least we thought she did.

When we had our Christmas over at the DiMaggios, she received a Three Stooges DVD as one of her gifts. The child LOVES the Three Stooges. Everyone laughed because she was so excited.

When we got home that night and she was getting read for bed, I asked her what her favorite gift was - fully expecting her to say Guitar Hero.

Nope.

It was the DVD.

Later, I called Nicki to tell her that was her favorite.

She bust out laughing and said:

"Melissa, I got that out of the dollar bin at Target."

We learned with Courtney that it is not the amount you spend on the child. It is truly the little things.

This year she would like socks that have patterns that she can wear with her boots.
I am having trouble finding ones with designs on them.

I will not stop looking. There are still several days left!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Me and My Drum

Christmas.

Ughh.

The time of year where people go into debt to make sure that everyone gets a gift and everyone had the same amount spent on them. Some people, who don't have enough money to pay cash for everything, will put it on credit cards and spend all of the next year paying it off only to repeat the process again.

What have we all been taught? When Jesus was born, people came from all over bringing him gifts. Expensive gifts at that. It makes sense, to some, that we should buy expensive gifts for each other.

But maybe it doesn't have to be that way. Let's look at the little drummer boy, shall we?

He was told to come see a new born King and that people were coming from all over bringing him the finest of gifts. But he was poor. He had nothing to bring. Did that stop him from going? Nope. He still went.

Imagine his surprise when he showed up and there was a KING in a stable with cattle. Still, people were bringing the best of the best and gifting it to the child.

I have no gift to bring
That's fit to give a King

All he had to offer was what he did best - play the drum.

What do you think Christmas would be like if all we gave was the best of us?

Do you think people would rejoice?

Do you think people would get mad?

What if all I could give was the service of raking my neighbor's leaves up in the yard? Do you think they would think that was the best gift ever?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But as long as I remember that I gave my best that is all that matters.

I played my drum for him
I played my best for him

I chose to believe that Mary and Joseph loved that drum playing the best of all.

Because it came from the heart.

Pa rum, pum, pum, pum

Monday, December 7, 2009

Tis The Season

Dear Shoppers - we have entered into that time of year where everyone is in a rush to get their gifts purchased, wrapped and under the tree in time for Christmas morning. While out shopping this past weekend, there seems to be some confusion on just how to do this. The following are some helpful suggestions to make the experience a little more pleasant for all involved:

1. Do not, I repeat, do not under any circumstances take your small children with you to the toy store. Let's face it, we all want to get in and out of there with all of our limbs in tact and without spending a small fortune. It would be helpful if you left your spoiled scream for everything on the top of their lungs brats at home. No one else wants to listen to little Susie and Tommy cry for an hour because you thought it was wise to take them with you to a TOY STORE!

2. If you do have to take your kids with you, please use the stroller for what it is intended for. By no means should you ever allow your child, who can barely walk, push the stroller down the walkway of the mall. No one thinks your child is as adorable as you do and quite frankly, you are in the way. Either strap that kid in the stroller and carry your packages, or stay home.

3. When you tell little precious to sit down in the stroller or they are going to fall out, and then don't enforce it, don't act surprised when precious does fall out on their head. Clearly you knew it was going to happen. It is simple really, put precious in stroller, strap them in and go. It is not rocket science, people.

4. Don't go to the Apple Store if you have no idea what a computer, iPod or cell phone is - enough said.

Basically people, if you can't handle it, stay home. I could have been done in half of the time yesterday if I didn't have to run into all of you.

Thanks, Guys! Merry Christams!

Friday, December 4, 2009

So What!

Okay so here is the deal. If Scott ever cheats on me, or has a car accident, or breaks a nail, none of that makes the news.

Nope.

And if it did make the news, would any of you care?

Nope.

But because Tiger is famous, not only does it make the news, it is on everything. The TV, the radio, magazine and the Internet.

Okay, so the first day it happened, and it was on the news, I can live with that. But the whole thing of it being the ONLY THING people are talking about is driving me nuts.

Truth be told, it is none of our business.

A radio station was actually having people call in to vote if his wife is going to stay with him. Everyone thinks she should leave.

You want my opinion? (If not, stop reading here)

For Better or Worse.

There isn't too much Scott could do that I wouldn't forgive him for, short of murder or being mean to Courtney.

And I know that it is easy for me to sit here and say they took vows and she should forgive him because this has NEVER HAPPENED TO ME, but I do feel that way.

But how I really feel is:

QUIT REPORTING ABOUT IT. IT IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. WHO CARES? REPORT SOMETHING ABOUT HIS GOLF GAME, NOT THE GAME HE IS PLAYING WITH HIS HOME LIFE.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Thanks For The Boots

She was in Kindergarten. This was the Christmas that she wanted cowGIRL boots. We don't know why. But she wanted them, so Santa delivered. They were red with a silver tip on the toe. CUTE, CUTE CUTE! We also got her a hat.

Our Santa always leaves his present unwrapped underneath the tree. So When she came out on Christmas morning, they they were sitting and she put them right on with her pajamas. She was wearing thermals at the time and they slipped right into the boots without a problem.

When it came time to get dressed, I pulled her jeans down over her boots and she started crying. This is before we were aware of all of her sensory issues. She could not stand the feel of those boots against her skin and refused to wear them.

REFUSED.

SO I started thinking and pulled out a pair of tights and had to convince her to put them on with jeans. But I did and then put the boots on. When I pulled the jeans down over the boots she was fine. They weren't touching her skin and life was good.

She wore those boots for forever. I had bought her a red shirt and thought that she would only wear them when when color coordinating, but I was wrong. That girl wore them with EVERYTHING. There were nights I would go to tuck her in before I went to bed and she was sleeping in them.

This was the beginning of her love for boots. NOT SHOES, boots.

She has a pair right now that she wears EVERYDAY. She loves them because they have a heel that makes her taller. Even with the heel, she is shorter than the kids at school.

I have a feeling, when she is older, her closet is going to be nothing but boots, flops and slippers. If she can't go anywhere in any of those, she'll just stay home!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Harmonicas Make You Swear

She was in 2nd Grade.

All she wanted for Christmas was a harmonica and a jump rope. That's it. Both of those items, to me, are stocking stuffers not actual Santa Claus gifts. But every time you asked her what she wanted that is what she came back with.

During this time in her school life she was mainstreamed with the help of a parapro, Tracey. Courtney can make friends with any adult on the face of the planet, but try as she might, kids her age she just, to this day, can't seem to master how to be friends with. Tracey thought Courtney walked on water so when she called me and asked if it was okay for her to get Court a harmonica for Christmas I agreed. Anyone who is nice to my kid is GOLDEN in my book. The last day of school came before vacation and Tracey gave her the harmonica. She called me at work to warn me that it had not been out of the childs mouth all day and she could blow on it pretty loud. I get home that night and Court is all proud and played it for me - if you can call it playing.

The next day I had to run some last minute errands before the big day and she decided to come with me. It is not uncommon at all for Court to be so quiet in the car that I forget she is with me, and I am sure this is what happened this day. Here I am driving down the road, lost in my own thoughts, and all of a sudden she blows on that damn harmonica hard and loud. It scared the crap out of me and I used some words that I am not proud of.

She thought she was hysterical. She sat in the back seat and laughed loud and long.

I GLARE at her in the review mirror and ask her just what in the hell she was thinking.

She looked right back at me and with all the seriousness in the world said

"Mom, I just love this thing. This is the best present EVER. And it fits in my pocket."

We made a rule right then and there that the harmonica was no longer allowed in the car.

And then I prayed that she would never repeat the words that I let slip in the car that day.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

It is funny how music can take you somewhere the minute the first word is sung.

When I was a little girl, and Christmas time came around, my mom would pull out the Bing Crosby White Christmas album. I was raised on Bing. He would sing how it was Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas and a version of Silent Night that can bring a tear to the eye of the toughest man on the face of the earth. We would listen to that album while decorating the house for Christmas. My mom not only did the tree, she also decorated the entire house. Jeff and I each got a Christmas pillowcase to sleep on.

Scott was raised on Henry Mancini’s A Merry Mancini Christmas. That was a tradition in his house. His mom would always make homemade cookies and they would drink hot chocolate while decorating the Christmas tree. Scott and Rick each had a bell that they hung on the tree.

Both of our families watched all the claymation shows like Rudolph and the cartoons like Charlie Brown. However, Scott was and still is, way more into in than myself.

Out here in Georgia, the Christian radio station starts playing Christmas music the day before Thanksgiving. Something my sister in law would absolutely love. Tonight on the way home from work, as I was flipping the channels on the radio, 104.7 The Fish was playing Bing. There I was a little girl in my parent’s home that they still live in today, excited because of a pillowcase.

Now I am 40 and Christmas doesn’t really do it for me. Part of it is Courtney had such issues with it when she was young. She never really bought into the whole Santa thing and she absolutely refused to sit on his lap. She told me she couldn’t because he wears glasses. Who can argue with that?

Part of it is because Scott and I don’t have a lot of traditions. We had to learn to go with the flow when Courtney was little and part of it is because we didn’t lay down roots when we were first married because we were in the military.

But for me I think it is lack of family. We ALWAYS went to Christmas Eve service at church and Sharlene Blakely would sing O Holy Night. Every single year. On Christmas morning, we would open presents and then go to my Aunt Deanna’s house and eat brunch. My grandparents would be there too. This is just what we did. And I know it doesn’t sound like much to anyone reading this, but it is so much to me.

Living in Georgia is great! I have a change of seasons that can take a person’s breath away with the beauty of it. I have friends who would walk to the ends of the earth and back for me. I have a husband and a daughter that I wouldn’t trade for the world.

But I am missing so much too.

So Bing can make me smile, warm my heart and bring a tear to my eye all in one word of a song.

And no matter what, Christmas is going to arrive on the 25th.

Maybe I would enjoy it more, if I had a Christmas pillowcase!