This year we celebrated Christmas with our best friends, The Tyldesleys. They have three kids under the age of 7 and when we walked through the door, it was ON!
We played football video games, we shot Nerf guns over the catwalk and we played with princess dress up clothes.
We ate homemade sugar cookies with frosting and sprinkles BEFORE dinner!
The house was loud and messy and, in all ways, it was perfect!
Our Christmas at home was low key and sweet.
Our Christmas with our friends was loud, messy and fun.
And when we got home, Scott and I enjoyed the silence of our home, with our kid nose deep in her new Kindle reading.
It is funny, to me, how two families, who really have a differnet kind of life than the other, can come together and appreciate what each other has and enjoy each other so much!
This year's Christmas was perfect!
In every way!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Christmas Future
When I was pregnant with Courtney I made the rule that my family would not travel at Christmas. I did not want her worrying that Santa would not be able to find her. I also did not want to pack everything in a car or on a plane and travel with a small child. So, I told family and friends that while we would not travel, our home is open to any and everyone who wants to come to us. Scott and I will do the cooking and the cleaning; all they have to do is come.
After her very first Christmas, where she received WAY too many gifts, Scott and I decided that we would only get her three things. After all, Jesus only received 3 gifts, and she certainly isn’t any better than Jesus.
And we have stuck to that rule every year since.
She is 15 now, and Christmas lasts about 15 minutes in our house. Maybe 20. When you only get a limited amount of gifts, it is hard to stretch the morning out and make Christmas last.
This now has me thinking about traveling at Christmas.
I think, maybe, that next year we will rent a cabin in the mountains and do our Christmas there. Or maybe rent a condo in Florida and have Christmas on the beach. Maybe it is time for this family to experience Christmas outside of this house. Of course, this is in my head and I have not run this by Scott, so who knows…
Christmas Future….
I wonder what it will hold for us
After her very first Christmas, where she received WAY too many gifts, Scott and I decided that we would only get her three things. After all, Jesus only received 3 gifts, and she certainly isn’t any better than Jesus.
And we have stuck to that rule every year since.
She is 15 now, and Christmas lasts about 15 minutes in our house. Maybe 20. When you only get a limited amount of gifts, it is hard to stretch the morning out and make Christmas last.
This now has me thinking about traveling at Christmas.
I think, maybe, that next year we will rent a cabin in the mountains and do our Christmas there. Or maybe rent a condo in Florida and have Christmas on the beach. Maybe it is time for this family to experience Christmas outside of this house. Of course, this is in my head and I have not run this by Scott, so who knows…
Christmas Future….
I wonder what it will hold for us
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Christmas Past
While we were decorating for Christmas today, Scott asked Courtney and I what our favorite Christmas memory was.
Courtney wasn't sure. True to form, her favorite memory is the most recent. Not that she doesn't remember fondly on things that have happened, she just can't wrap her mind around the whole concept of looking back father than an year, so she goes with what she knows.
Scott's favorite memory was from Christmas 1989. He had just finished boot camp and was going home for the first time since he joined the military. Home was Valdosta, GA. For those of you who do not know where that is, it is just over the Florida border. He had two wishes that year; To be home for Christmas. And snow. Now, the chances of getting snow in Valdosta is SLIM. But that year he got snow. And not just the snow that came out of the sky and melted when it hit the ground, but the snow that stuck and could have snowballs made out of it.
I have many favorite memories. Like how every Christmas morning we got up, opened presents and then when to my Aunt Deanna's house for brunch. Or the year Courtney was 5 years old and she wanted cow girl boots. Santa brought her red ones, and she wore them all day with her pajamas. Or how we were all set to decorate when we were living in Key West and it was too hot to get in the decorating spirit so we walked down to Duval Street. I was pregnant and wearing a sundress in December.
So clearly, for this family, it is not the gift that makes the holiday or the memory special.
It is snow.
It is brunch.
It is staying in your pajamas all day.
It is family.
What is your favorite memory of Christmas past?
Courtney wasn't sure. True to form, her favorite memory is the most recent. Not that she doesn't remember fondly on things that have happened, she just can't wrap her mind around the whole concept of looking back father than an year, so she goes with what she knows.
Scott's favorite memory was from Christmas 1989. He had just finished boot camp and was going home for the first time since he joined the military. Home was Valdosta, GA. For those of you who do not know where that is, it is just over the Florida border. He had two wishes that year; To be home for Christmas. And snow. Now, the chances of getting snow in Valdosta is SLIM. But that year he got snow. And not just the snow that came out of the sky and melted when it hit the ground, but the snow that stuck and could have snowballs made out of it.
I have many favorite memories. Like how every Christmas morning we got up, opened presents and then when to my Aunt Deanna's house for brunch. Or the year Courtney was 5 years old and she wanted cow girl boots. Santa brought her red ones, and she wore them all day with her pajamas. Or how we were all set to decorate when we were living in Key West and it was too hot to get in the decorating spirit so we walked down to Duval Street. I was pregnant and wearing a sundress in December.
So clearly, for this family, it is not the gift that makes the holiday or the memory special.
It is snow.
It is brunch.
It is staying in your pajamas all day.
It is family.
What is your favorite memory of Christmas past?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Dreams
I don't dream.
Let me clarify that...if I do dream it is SELDOM that I remember them.
And I don't dream in color, everything is in black and white.
Monday night I dreamt A LOT. They were short dreams and I would wake up after each one, look at the clock to see how much time I had before I had to get up, fall back to sleep and go right back into another dream.
Crazy.
The last dream I had really bothered me. I dreamt that my best friend, Diana Kelly-Miller, had a baby boy (which she does, he is just in 1st grade, not a baby). I was at his Christening, which was at my home church (which is crazy, because she is Catholic and we aren't). I was carrying him and dropped him down the side of the wall at the back of the church and bloodied his face pretty good. He was crying when I picked him up and then I woke up.
It was 4:00am and I refused to go back to sleep after that. I really, really bothered me.
I haven't slept well since then because I am afraid that I am going to have that dream again.
SO this morning, I did some research on dreams through the wonderful world of GOOGLE. This is what came back on my search:
To dream of a crying baby symbolizes a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs to be nurtured. Alternatively, it represents your unfulfilled goals and a sense of lacking in your life. If you dream that a baby is neglected, then it suggests that you are not paying enough attention to yourself. You are not utilizing your full potential. Alternatively, this dream could represent your fears about your own children and your ability to protect and to provide for them.
Oh....that clears it up!
Anybody who knows me, knows that I do not need to be nurtured, I can take care of myself. So we can rule out that.
Unfulfilled goals and lacking in my life...um....what? I have a husband, kid, house and job. That is more than a lot of people. So no...not that.
This dream just makes no sense to me. I wouldn't hurt a kid on the face of this earth and I would never drop them down a wall.
I just don't know why I cannot let this go.
All I know is I am tired and want to sleep, I am just afraid of what will happen when I do.
I liked it better when I didn't dream, or at least, didn't remember them!
Let me clarify that...if I do dream it is SELDOM that I remember them.
And I don't dream in color, everything is in black and white.
Monday night I dreamt A LOT. They were short dreams and I would wake up after each one, look at the clock to see how much time I had before I had to get up, fall back to sleep and go right back into another dream.
Crazy.
The last dream I had really bothered me. I dreamt that my best friend, Diana Kelly-Miller, had a baby boy (which she does, he is just in 1st grade, not a baby). I was at his Christening, which was at my home church (which is crazy, because she is Catholic and we aren't). I was carrying him and dropped him down the side of the wall at the back of the church and bloodied his face pretty good. He was crying when I picked him up and then I woke up.
It was 4:00am and I refused to go back to sleep after that. I really, really bothered me.
I haven't slept well since then because I am afraid that I am going to have that dream again.
SO this morning, I did some research on dreams through the wonderful world of GOOGLE. This is what came back on my search:
To dream of a crying baby symbolizes a part of yourself that is deprived of attention and needs to be nurtured. Alternatively, it represents your unfulfilled goals and a sense of lacking in your life. If you dream that a baby is neglected, then it suggests that you are not paying enough attention to yourself. You are not utilizing your full potential. Alternatively, this dream could represent your fears about your own children and your ability to protect and to provide for them.
Oh....that clears it up!
Anybody who knows me, knows that I do not need to be nurtured, I can take care of myself. So we can rule out that.
Unfulfilled goals and lacking in my life...um....what? I have a husband, kid, house and job. That is more than a lot of people. So no...not that.
This dream just makes no sense to me. I wouldn't hurt a kid on the face of this earth and I would never drop them down a wall.
I just don't know why I cannot let this go.
All I know is I am tired and want to sleep, I am just afraid of what will happen when I do.
I liked it better when I didn't dream, or at least, didn't remember them!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Nana
Her birthday was Monday, October 16th. She turned 93.
93! That's a long time to walk the face of this earth!
She grew up singing on the radio with her two sisters. Her daddy was a preacher and I remember every get together we had growing up, someone would play the piano (I think Aunt Jeanette)and old hymns would be sung. That is the reason I prefer the old hymns to today's more popular music.
She had 2 kids - both girls, 7 grand kids - 6 boys and 1 girl and 9 great-grand kids - 5 boys and 4 girls.
She was a bank teller when I was growing up. My mom took me to her bank on Halloween on year and everyone at the bank had dressed up. There was a co-worker dressed up as a big Indian Chief and I remember he scared me. She thought that was funny.
She wanted to teach my brother how to roller skate. There they were, both on skates, skating down Whiting Avenue. Their skates got tangled up and they both fell. She damaged her elbow pretty bad.
When she would sit down next to me at church, she would pat my leg in a certain rhythm. She told me they were love pats!
She always had gum in her purse.
When I was older and living on my own, there was a time that I would go to dinner with her once a week. It used to drive her crazy that I would park in front of the fire hydrant outside her apartment. She just knew I was going to get a ticket.
She outlived two husbands; My granddaddy - they were nuts about each other and her and a nice man named Desmond.
She died today.
My parents and my aunt were there with her.
The last several years have been hard with Dementia stealing her mind.
And when she got to Heaven this afternoon, I know she was greeted by Granddaddy, her sisters and my Uncle Wayne.
And I am sure that there is singing and dancing and no pain.
And I hope she tells Granddaddy that I named my daughter after him.
And I hope she looks down on me everyday and that she is proud of the person that I grew up to be. And that she knows that she helped make me that person.
And I hope she knows, without any doubt, that she was a great Nana and that I loved her very much
Enjoy Heaven, Nana! You deserve it!
93! That's a long time to walk the face of this earth!
She grew up singing on the radio with her two sisters. Her daddy was a preacher and I remember every get together we had growing up, someone would play the piano (I think Aunt Jeanette)and old hymns would be sung. That is the reason I prefer the old hymns to today's more popular music.
She had 2 kids - both girls, 7 grand kids - 6 boys and 1 girl and 9 great-grand kids - 5 boys and 4 girls.
She was a bank teller when I was growing up. My mom took me to her bank on Halloween on year and everyone at the bank had dressed up. There was a co-worker dressed up as a big Indian Chief and I remember he scared me. She thought that was funny.
She wanted to teach my brother how to roller skate. There they were, both on skates, skating down Whiting Avenue. Their skates got tangled up and they both fell. She damaged her elbow pretty bad.
When she would sit down next to me at church, she would pat my leg in a certain rhythm. She told me they were love pats!
She always had gum in her purse.
When I was older and living on my own, there was a time that I would go to dinner with her once a week. It used to drive her crazy that I would park in front of the fire hydrant outside her apartment. She just knew I was going to get a ticket.
She outlived two husbands; My granddaddy - they were nuts about each other and her and a nice man named Desmond.
She died today.
My parents and my aunt were there with her.
The last several years have been hard with Dementia stealing her mind.
And when she got to Heaven this afternoon, I know she was greeted by Granddaddy, her sisters and my Uncle Wayne.
And I am sure that there is singing and dancing and no pain.
And I hope she tells Granddaddy that I named my daughter after him.
And I hope she looks down on me everyday and that she is proud of the person that I grew up to be. And that she knows that she helped make me that person.
And I hope she knows, without any doubt, that she was a great Nana and that I loved her very much
Enjoy Heaven, Nana! You deserve it!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
25 Year Later
When I was in high school, it was a big social place for me. I was always disappointed at the end of the day because I had to go home - don't get me wrong, my home life was not bad AT ALL - it is just that my friends didn't live in the same house with me.
School was a time to visit, joke around and goof off. I did my school work, and my grades were good, I graduated with a 3.5 GPA (they were good if you don't count my first quarter as a freshman where I failed English and had to work my butt off to get my grade back up and was grounded for the whole rest of the semester - even from talking on the phone. Hello! Have you met me? I am on the phone CONSTANTLY even now).
When it was time to prepare for college, I knew I wanted to be an interpreter for the deaf. I also knew that I wanted to interpret in the court system, which would require extra classes. All of my classes were at night, so I worked as a receptionist during the day, and went to school at night Monday thru Thursday. (I also went out with friends on Friday and Saturday.) (You should probably note that this is also the time I got mono for doing too much all the time, and was really sick and my mom made me "cut back" on the going out on the weekends so much.)
After a couple of years I graduated and instead of taking my legal classes that I needed to take to be able to interpret in the courts, I just continued working my office job. Twenty five years later....I am still working an office job. Right now it is in the telecom industry. (Because, you know, deaf people use the phone so much and interpreting over the phone is in high demand!)
I look back on my high school days and I think of all the plans I had for myself back then and what I was going to do. Then I look at my life right now, and it is SO different.
Do you think anyone ever thinks to themselves in high school, I am going to pay to go to school, not use my degree, get a job that I can't advance in and then retire.
Not so much.
If I could just talk to that 18 year old girl and talk some sense into her...
But I can't.
So I will just work the rest of my life and probably die at my desk.
And my headstone should read...Here lies Melissa...I hope there are telephones in Heaven because that is all she enjoys doing.
And I hope Jesus like coffee. I make a mean pot of coffee!
School was a time to visit, joke around and goof off. I did my school work, and my grades were good, I graduated with a 3.5 GPA (they were good if you don't count my first quarter as a freshman where I failed English and had to work my butt off to get my grade back up and was grounded for the whole rest of the semester - even from talking on the phone. Hello! Have you met me? I am on the phone CONSTANTLY even now).
When it was time to prepare for college, I knew I wanted to be an interpreter for the deaf. I also knew that I wanted to interpret in the court system, which would require extra classes. All of my classes were at night, so I worked as a receptionist during the day, and went to school at night Monday thru Thursday. (I also went out with friends on Friday and Saturday.) (You should probably note that this is also the time I got mono for doing too much all the time, and was really sick and my mom made me "cut back" on the going out on the weekends so much.)
After a couple of years I graduated and instead of taking my legal classes that I needed to take to be able to interpret in the courts, I just continued working my office job. Twenty five years later....I am still working an office job. Right now it is in the telecom industry. (Because, you know, deaf people use the phone so much and interpreting over the phone is in high demand!)
I look back on my high school days and I think of all the plans I had for myself back then and what I was going to do. Then I look at my life right now, and it is SO different.
Do you think anyone ever thinks to themselves in high school, I am going to pay to go to school, not use my degree, get a job that I can't advance in and then retire.
Not so much.
If I could just talk to that 18 year old girl and talk some sense into her...
But I can't.
So I will just work the rest of my life and probably die at my desk.
And my headstone should read...Here lies Melissa...I hope there are telephones in Heaven because that is all she enjoys doing.
And I hope Jesus like coffee. I make a mean pot of coffee!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A Post That Won't Mean Anything To Anyone
I know I talk a lot on here about Autism.
It is because it consumes our life all the time...and lately it has been consuming us more than we would like.
Courtney,in case you don't know, has Asperger's Syndrome. While she is super smart, she struggles socially. Really struggles. And the older she gets, the more she struggles. And the more she struggles, the less I can help. And it is killing me.
She is 15. This is a hard age for any girl on the face of this planet. I look back on when I was this age and THANK GOD that I no longer am. However, over the last year, Courtney has really started realize (and this is a pretty big step for her) that she is different...and she is not coping well with it. *I should also note that it didn't help that we decided to change her meds during all of this, which started off as an EPIC FAIL, but the doctor got us back on track like 5 days before school started...so it was a ROUGH summer*
But while she has been realizing things, Scott and I have been coming to realizations of out own. We see all of our friends and their kids and we realized this summer that she won't be going to the Homecoming Dance, she won't be driving a car any time soon, she won't be going to football games with a bunch of friends. And to see all of the posts on Facebook really makes brings it home.
She is seeing her friends and family members getting their permits to drive. She asked how old you have to be to get a permit. I told her she had to be 15 and she had to have it for one year and one day before she could take the driving test. She asked me why she can't get a permit. I told her because she wasn't ready and that I wasn't saying no...I was saying not now.
You should have seen the look on her face. It broke my heart.
She didn't argue with me...she just didn't talk about it anymore.
I chose to believe that one day, she will leave home, live on her own, come over for Sunday dinner and to do laundry.
Her doctors tell us we need to start preparing her for that transition now. I tell them that I would like to get through the school year successfully.
They just smile that all knowing smile.
I swear, if I was her, I would not leave the house sometimes. But she gets up every day and tries again.
And because she does, so do we.
It is because it consumes our life all the time...and lately it has been consuming us more than we would like.
Courtney,in case you don't know, has Asperger's Syndrome. While she is super smart, she struggles socially. Really struggles. And the older she gets, the more she struggles. And the more she struggles, the less I can help. And it is killing me.
She is 15. This is a hard age for any girl on the face of this planet. I look back on when I was this age and THANK GOD that I no longer am. However, over the last year, Courtney has really started realize (and this is a pretty big step for her) that she is different...and she is not coping well with it. *I should also note that it didn't help that we decided to change her meds during all of this, which started off as an EPIC FAIL, but the doctor got us back on track like 5 days before school started...so it was a ROUGH summer*
But while she has been realizing things, Scott and I have been coming to realizations of out own. We see all of our friends and their kids and we realized this summer that she won't be going to the Homecoming Dance, she won't be driving a car any time soon, she won't be going to football games with a bunch of friends. And to see all of the posts on Facebook really makes brings it home.
She is seeing her friends and family members getting their permits to drive. She asked how old you have to be to get a permit. I told her she had to be 15 and she had to have it for one year and one day before she could take the driving test. She asked me why she can't get a permit. I told her because she wasn't ready and that I wasn't saying no...I was saying not now.
You should have seen the look on her face. It broke my heart.
She didn't argue with me...she just didn't talk about it anymore.
I chose to believe that one day, she will leave home, live on her own, come over for Sunday dinner and to do laundry.
Her doctors tell us we need to start preparing her for that transition now. I tell them that I would like to get through the school year successfully.
They just smile that all knowing smile.
I swear, if I was her, I would not leave the house sometimes. But she gets up every day and tries again.
And because she does, so do we.
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