Every Tuesday night I work at Weight Watchers.
It is in a shopping center that has a hobby store, a hair studio and a couple of restaurants.
Every Tuesday night, as I am getting my computer turned on and our meeting opened, I see a little old man pull into the same parking space. He gets out and walks around to the passenger side and opens the door for a little old lady. He is always in dress slacks and a pressed shirt. She is always in a dress. The walk together, holding hands, to the all you can eat southern buffet.
Every Tuesday night.
I imagine that they share a meal, as neither one of them are big people, but I don't know that.
I never see them leave, because I am knee deep in my job at that time, but I imagine that they shared a piece of pie and had a cup of coffee.
I love to watch them walk to the restaurant. I love the fact that he still holds her hand. It might be to keep each other from falling,but I choose to believe it is because he loves her and she loves him.
I hope when I am their age that Scott will still take me out and hold my hand.
And I hope we share a piece of pie.
And I hope we look just like that couple on Tuesday nights!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
18 Years And Counting
Scott and I celebrated our 18th Wedding Anniversary on June 19th.
18 Years.
That sounds like such a long time, but if I really think about it, it doesn't seem like that long at all. But things have certainly changed over the years.
Like when we first started dating, we used to love to go eat at The Sizzler (a California restaurant chain). Now we prefer non chain places that no one has ever heard of, but that the owners come to our table and chat for a few minutes.
Friday nights used to be come home from work, change clothes and go out. Stay out super late and sleep half of the day away on Saturday. Now Friday night, we order pizza, watch a movie and fall asleep in the chair.
Home cooked meals used to be hot dogs and mac and cheese. Now it is a variety of meals that invlove way more than two steps. (But we still do an old school throw back of hot dogs every now and then.)
Bed time consisted of being wrapped up in the sheets and each other. His breath on my neck. Now it is a bigger bed, with way more expensive sheets and a dog somewhere in between us.
But there is plenty that hasn't changed.
Like when I am gone all day and pull into the driveway to see him stop and smile at me when I walk in.
How I don't have to even open my eyes or say a word and he knows when to pull me close and we fall right back to sleep together...sometimes only for 20 minutes.
How I can't even IMAGINE what life would be like if I wasn't with him and, truth be told, I can't remember what it was like before him.
18 years ago I thought I married the best man on the face of the earth, but I was wrong.
He just keeps getting better and better. I can't wait to see what the next 18 years brings me!
18 Years.
That sounds like such a long time, but if I really think about it, it doesn't seem like that long at all. But things have certainly changed over the years.
Like when we first started dating, we used to love to go eat at The Sizzler (a California restaurant chain). Now we prefer non chain places that no one has ever heard of, but that the owners come to our table and chat for a few minutes.
Friday nights used to be come home from work, change clothes and go out. Stay out super late and sleep half of the day away on Saturday. Now Friday night, we order pizza, watch a movie and fall asleep in the chair.
Home cooked meals used to be hot dogs and mac and cheese. Now it is a variety of meals that invlove way more than two steps. (But we still do an old school throw back of hot dogs every now and then.)
Bed time consisted of being wrapped up in the sheets and each other. His breath on my neck. Now it is a bigger bed, with way more expensive sheets and a dog somewhere in between us.
But there is plenty that hasn't changed.
Like when I am gone all day and pull into the driveway to see him stop and smile at me when I walk in.
How I don't have to even open my eyes or say a word and he knows when to pull me close and we fall right back to sleep together...sometimes only for 20 minutes.
How I can't even IMAGINE what life would be like if I wasn't with him and, truth be told, I can't remember what it was like before him.
18 years ago I thought I married the best man on the face of the earth, but I was wrong.
He just keeps getting better and better. I can't wait to see what the next 18 years brings me!
Monday, June 13, 2011
It Is All About Respect
Yesterday Scott and I went to the pool. Courtney chose to sleep through pool time. I swear that kid can sleep like no one else!
When we arrived and were walking to our chairs, I heard my name. I looked down to see two women sitting in the pool with their kids. They were talking about their friend who is named Melissa.
Apparently these two women and their families got together with Melissa's family the night before. After Melissa got home, she called her two friends to tell them that her son had a fever.
Now, we have all been there...you get notice that your kid hung out with another kid who is now sick and you watch your kid for the next week making sure they don't get sick too. And if you really stopped to think about it, your kid can get sick just by going to the grocery store. The only difference is you don't have a mom calling you to warn you.
The two women proceeded to sit and talk not so nicely about their "friend" and her parenting. They even went on to say that her son looks like a girl and they feel sorry for him.
Not even 30 minutes later, Melissa shows up to the pool with her son, who does not look like a girl, he looks like a toddler. The two women were sugary nice to her.
I hate that. If you don't like someone or don't want to hang out with someone, respect them enough to tell them or cut your ties with them. Don't sit there and talk about them in a public forum where anyone can hear and then be fake to them.
I think friendship is a lot about respect. Respect the friendship enough to always be honest, to address issues when they arise (and they will arise), to forgive because you will want to be forgiven and then to also forget and concentrate on the positive.
Scott and I don't have a lot of friends by choice. Those we do have we respect enough to be 100% honest with them.
And I think they respect that about us!
When we arrived and were walking to our chairs, I heard my name. I looked down to see two women sitting in the pool with their kids. They were talking about their friend who is named Melissa.
Apparently these two women and their families got together with Melissa's family the night before. After Melissa got home, she called her two friends to tell them that her son had a fever.
Now, we have all been there...you get notice that your kid hung out with another kid who is now sick and you watch your kid for the next week making sure they don't get sick too. And if you really stopped to think about it, your kid can get sick just by going to the grocery store. The only difference is you don't have a mom calling you to warn you.
The two women proceeded to sit and talk not so nicely about their "friend" and her parenting. They even went on to say that her son looks like a girl and they feel sorry for him.
Not even 30 minutes later, Melissa shows up to the pool with her son, who does not look like a girl, he looks like a toddler. The two women were sugary nice to her.
I hate that. If you don't like someone or don't want to hang out with someone, respect them enough to tell them or cut your ties with them. Don't sit there and talk about them in a public forum where anyone can hear and then be fake to them.
I think friendship is a lot about respect. Respect the friendship enough to always be honest, to address issues when they arise (and they will arise), to forgive because you will want to be forgiven and then to also forget and concentrate on the positive.
Scott and I don't have a lot of friends by choice. Those we do have we respect enough to be 100% honest with them.
And I think they respect that about us!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
I Am Sorry, What Did You Say?
Being born and raised in California like I was, I have hard time understanding people who talk with an accent.
The first time Scott took me to meet his parents in Georgia, we went to a Cracker Barrel for dinner, and the waitress came to the table, said something and stared at me. I sat there for a minute, looked at Scott with a puzzled expression and he told she asked what I would like to drink. I didn't understand a word she said. She was speaking English, just with an accent.
Scott and his brother, Brandon, like a British TV show called The Young Ones. They think it is hysterical and quote lines from it all the time. I have tried to watch it on more than one occasion, but I can't understand what they say, so the show really loses it's effect on me.
Last night, Scott and I rented The Godfather. Neither one of us had seen the movie before. I must of asked Scott to pause it a million times to tell me what was said, because I could not understand. It was a good movie, but I probably would have enjoyed it more could I have understood and not had to stop and start the movie all the time. Not to mention that it made a three hour movie much longer than three hours.
People here in Georgia never fail to ask me where I am from. They point out that I don't sound like I am from around here. But I would like to point out that at least they understand what I say when I talk to them....
Unlike me, who can only understand you if you were born and raised in California as well.
The first time Scott took me to meet his parents in Georgia, we went to a Cracker Barrel for dinner, and the waitress came to the table, said something and stared at me. I sat there for a minute, looked at Scott with a puzzled expression and he told she asked what I would like to drink. I didn't understand a word she said. She was speaking English, just with an accent.
Scott and his brother, Brandon, like a British TV show called The Young Ones. They think it is hysterical and quote lines from it all the time. I have tried to watch it on more than one occasion, but I can't understand what they say, so the show really loses it's effect on me.
Last night, Scott and I rented The Godfather. Neither one of us had seen the movie before. I must of asked Scott to pause it a million times to tell me what was said, because I could not understand. It was a good movie, but I probably would have enjoyed it more could I have understood and not had to stop and start the movie all the time. Not to mention that it made a three hour movie much longer than three hours.
People here in Georgia never fail to ask me where I am from. They point out that I don't sound like I am from around here. But I would like to point out that at least they understand what I say when I talk to them....
Unlike me, who can only understand you if you were born and raised in California as well.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Birds Of A Feather
A couple of weeks ago we hung two ferns on the front porch. Within days a pair of House Finches took up residency and laid some eggs.
We did not know they did this and when we were taking the ferns down to be watered, one of the eggs fell out of the nest and broke, leaving only two eggs.
Every time we go in and out of the front door, the parent Finches yell at us. When we are working in the yard, they sit on the neighbors roof and yell at us. I know they are telling us to hurry up and not to even think about bothering their home again.
Spring skipped us and Summer came early and with a vengence this year. It has been too hot for her to sit on her eggs, so she just sits next to them, guarding them.
Thursday Scott was out watering and took a look inside the fern to see that the two birds have hatched. We did quick research to find out that they should be out of the nest in 15 days. That seems really fast to me, but all of the research we have done swears it is true. Can you imagine if you only had to parent for 15 days?
Research also told us that the couple will brood again, and can brood up to 3 times this season. While it has been an intersting experience, I am not too sure I am up for 2 more rounds.
Scott wants to get a camera and mount it to the roof so we can watch them through a live feed. I can't imagine that would be too interesting for too long.
So we are the proud guardians of two baby House Finches. Now if they would just let us have our fern back or at least quit yelling at us when we want to water it.
We did not know they did this and when we were taking the ferns down to be watered, one of the eggs fell out of the nest and broke, leaving only two eggs.
Every time we go in and out of the front door, the parent Finches yell at us. When we are working in the yard, they sit on the neighbors roof and yell at us. I know they are telling us to hurry up and not to even think about bothering their home again.
Spring skipped us and Summer came early and with a vengence this year. It has been too hot for her to sit on her eggs, so she just sits next to them, guarding them.
Thursday Scott was out watering and took a look inside the fern to see that the two birds have hatched. We did quick research to find out that they should be out of the nest in 15 days. That seems really fast to me, but all of the research we have done swears it is true. Can you imagine if you only had to parent for 15 days?
Research also told us that the couple will brood again, and can brood up to 3 times this season. While it has been an intersting experience, I am not too sure I am up for 2 more rounds.
Scott wants to get a camera and mount it to the roof so we can watch them through a live feed. I can't imagine that would be too interesting for too long.
So we are the proud guardians of two baby House Finches. Now if they would just let us have our fern back or at least quit yelling at us when we want to water it.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Simple Things
There is this little white church that sits in the middle of a field and you can see it from I75. It has a steeple and a cemetery.
We pass it every time we go to visit Scott's parents.
And if for some reason I am not paying attention, Scott points it out for me. And I always threaten to make him stop so I can take a picture of it to have for my own.
I don't know why, but I love that church.
It could be that it is picturesque. It could be that it is very simple, and I like simple things.
When we drive by I picture the people that attend there, or are buried there. I just know that they sing all of the old hymns...Amazing Grace, Shall We Gather At The River, The Old Rugged Cross...I have romanticized it in my head for so many years, that to go there now would, I am sure, ruin it for me.
Simple things....
Like my husband enjoying going fishing last night for an hour.
Like my daughter making a pencil box out of a cereal box that she saw on line.
Like laying in bed and watching the lightning bugs in the backyard.
All of those things, as simple as they are, make me happy.
And I think it is worth WAY more than all of the money in the world.
We pass it every time we go to visit Scott's parents.
And if for some reason I am not paying attention, Scott points it out for me. And I always threaten to make him stop so I can take a picture of it to have for my own.
I don't know why, but I love that church.
It could be that it is picturesque. It could be that it is very simple, and I like simple things.
When we drive by I picture the people that attend there, or are buried there. I just know that they sing all of the old hymns...Amazing Grace, Shall We Gather At The River, The Old Rugged Cross...I have romanticized it in my head for so many years, that to go there now would, I am sure, ruin it for me.
Simple things....
Like my husband enjoying going fishing last night for an hour.
Like my daughter making a pencil box out of a cereal box that she saw on line.
Like laying in bed and watching the lightning bugs in the backyard.
All of those things, as simple as they are, make me happy.
And I think it is worth WAY more than all of the money in the world.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Taylor Swift Should Write A Song Entitled Why You Gotta Be So Stupid!
Dear Man Driving the Mini Van on 985:
Remember how in Driver's Ed they taught you that an "On Ramp" is to gain speed so that you enter the Freeway/Interstate at the same rate the cars are traveling at? Do you remember also that the reason for this is so not to become a traffic hazard for you and those around you?
Yeah...you should apply that.
No where in your driver's manual does it say to break the entire length of the on ramp and have 16 cars all backed up behind you and then to get in the fast lane when you do finally merge going like 12 miles an hour.
Seriously, I could walk faster than you were driving.
Please either stay home or only travel on surface streets.
On a side note, any man who drives a car and has one of those stick figure families on the back window with the note that reads "All Because Two People Fell In Love" should have their man card pulled and never given back. Ever.
Just Sayin....
Remember how in Driver's Ed they taught you that an "On Ramp" is to gain speed so that you enter the Freeway/Interstate at the same rate the cars are traveling at? Do you remember also that the reason for this is so not to become a traffic hazard for you and those around you?
Yeah...you should apply that.
No where in your driver's manual does it say to break the entire length of the on ramp and have 16 cars all backed up behind you and then to get in the fast lane when you do finally merge going like 12 miles an hour.
Seriously, I could walk faster than you were driving.
Please either stay home or only travel on surface streets.
On a side note, any man who drives a car and has one of those stick figure families on the back window with the note that reads "All Because Two People Fell In Love" should have their man card pulled and never given back. Ever.
Just Sayin....
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The Landromat
Our washer broke.
Just as we got home from being out of town for the long weekend visiting Scott's parents.
With a suitcase full of dirty laundry.
So a trip to the laundromat was in order.
First we had to find one. Cause really who knows where one is unless you need it? Turns out there is one right up the road from where we live. SCORE!
Keep in mind, I have not been to one of these places since I had moved out of my parents house. Even when Scott and I got married, we had our own washer and dryer.
It took us a minute to figure out everything, but figure it out we did and set about loading the washers and getting them started. I was shocked to see that a load of laundry in the small washer cost $2.25 per load!!! That seemed really expensive to me.
There was a lady there doing her laundry. She was older than Scott and I - maybe like our parents age.
*Now keep in mind, in my head I think that only young single people use a laundromat. Also keep in mind that sometimes I lack a filter between my head and my mouth*
The lady starts to converse with us. Scott explained that our washer broke and that is why we are here. I just ASSUME that this lady's washer must have broke as well, because why would someone her AGE be her otherwise. And I proceed to say to the lady..."I don't know how poor people afford to do their laundry here. $2.25 a load is really expensive."
She looked at me and blinked and replied with a "why yes, yes it is."
The conversation ended kind of abruptly, but really, what does one talk about with strangers while doing laundry?
As we finish loading everything in the washers, Scott kept giving me a look and I can't for the life of me figure out what it means. When we finally go sit down, he says to me...
Scott: "way to insult the lady over there"
Me: "what?"
Scott: "Look at her, Melissa, she is wearing a house coat, she has 6 washers going and brought all of it in garbage bags. SHE IS POOR!"
Me: *Silence* *Blank Stare* *Crickets Chirping*
Me: "OOOOHHHH!!!!" Do you think I should apologize? I didn't mean it like that. I don't want her to think I think she is poor!"
Scott: "No! Don't say another word!"
Needless to say, the lady didn't talk to us anymore...not even while the clothes were drying.
Just as we got home from being out of town for the long weekend visiting Scott's parents.
With a suitcase full of dirty laundry.
So a trip to the laundromat was in order.
First we had to find one. Cause really who knows where one is unless you need it? Turns out there is one right up the road from where we live. SCORE!
Keep in mind, I have not been to one of these places since I had moved out of my parents house. Even when Scott and I got married, we had our own washer and dryer.
It took us a minute to figure out everything, but figure it out we did and set about loading the washers and getting them started. I was shocked to see that a load of laundry in the small washer cost $2.25 per load!!! That seemed really expensive to me.
There was a lady there doing her laundry. She was older than Scott and I - maybe like our parents age.
*Now keep in mind, in my head I think that only young single people use a laundromat. Also keep in mind that sometimes I lack a filter between my head and my mouth*
The lady starts to converse with us. Scott explained that our washer broke and that is why we are here. I just ASSUME that this lady's washer must have broke as well, because why would someone her AGE be her otherwise. And I proceed to say to the lady..."I don't know how poor people afford to do their laundry here. $2.25 a load is really expensive."
She looked at me and blinked and replied with a "why yes, yes it is."
The conversation ended kind of abruptly, but really, what does one talk about with strangers while doing laundry?
As we finish loading everything in the washers, Scott kept giving me a look and I can't for the life of me figure out what it means. When we finally go sit down, he says to me...
Scott: "way to insult the lady over there"
Me: "what?"
Scott: "Look at her, Melissa, she is wearing a house coat, she has 6 washers going and brought all of it in garbage bags. SHE IS POOR!"
Me: *Silence* *Blank Stare* *Crickets Chirping*
Me: "OOOOHHHH!!!!" Do you think I should apologize? I didn't mean it like that. I don't want her to think I think she is poor!"
Scott: "No! Don't say another word!"
Needless to say, the lady didn't talk to us anymore...not even while the clothes were drying.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Getting Back to Basics
Okay - so most of you know that I am closing my Facebook account.
I think I just need to do that - and there are many reasons why. Some of them are dumb reasons and some of them are super personal. I will lay them all out here for you in hopes that you will understand, but don't necessarily expect you to.
And that is okay.
One reason is I am now working two jobs. It isn't many hours, but it is still hours away from Scott and Courtney. I feel like when I am home, I need to be more checked into them.
Another reason is some people have been using Facebook to not be really nice to me or my family, and it is starting to effect me. So much so that I have put on 6lbs. I know that is not a lot of weight with the amount that I have lost, but it is enough to make me know that I don't want to be fat again. And if people being mean is going to do that to me, I am going to stop that part of it.
Another reason is my marriage. Scott and I have been going through it really hard for a really long time. Somewhere along the way, we lost what made us a great couple - the ability to laugh and have fun no matter what our situation is. The love for each other is still there, but it is buried so deep that it is going to take some work to get it back to the surface. Work that we are both MORE than willing to do.
Another is Courtney. She had the most awful school year to date. 9th grade was too hard for her socially. She was actually told by another child that she was "nothing but a failed abortion". No child on the face of this earth deserves to be told that and no child deserves to have someone think that of them. And yes, they are just words, but words hurt her more than being hit. Gone are the days that Mom could make everything better just by spending time with her. She is realizing that she is different, even though we have been explaining it since she was tiny, and it is killing her. We are working with doctors (still) and praying that her sophomore year goes a little better. Scott and I also came to the realization (although I thought we had before, but we didn't) that Courtney will not have a normal high school excperience. She will not go to the prom, footballs games and dates. And while I thought I had come to terms with it a long time ago, apparently I hadn't. And that wound that I keep covered up and hidden is open and bleeding right now.
So Scott and I had a long talk and we decided that we need to start worrying about The Colemans, and not so much about everyone else. We had an eye opening experience when Scott's grandmother passed that made us realize what is important to us, and nothing is more important than each of us is to each other.
So we are getting back to basics in the Coleman Family. We are on a journey of sorts to discover us again and to find the balance that works for us, where people smile and laugh a whole lot more than they cry or are frustrated.
We are going to learn to tell others "No", which I am sure will make friends and family mad at us, but that is a risk that we are willing to take. We have to take.
I am sure there are going to be some GREAT stories that come from this journey. And if you know me at all, you will know that I will post the good, the bad and the ugly all on this blog. So check back here and leave a comment to tell me you stopped by.
Today I am taking my first step of sorts, and I will admit that I am a little scared to see if we have what it takes, but we have to start somewhere...
and there is no better time than now!
I think I just need to do that - and there are many reasons why. Some of them are dumb reasons and some of them are super personal. I will lay them all out here for you in hopes that you will understand, but don't necessarily expect you to.
And that is okay.
One reason is I am now working two jobs. It isn't many hours, but it is still hours away from Scott and Courtney. I feel like when I am home, I need to be more checked into them.
Another reason is some people have been using Facebook to not be really nice to me or my family, and it is starting to effect me. So much so that I have put on 6lbs. I know that is not a lot of weight with the amount that I have lost, but it is enough to make me know that I don't want to be fat again. And if people being mean is going to do that to me, I am going to stop that part of it.
Another reason is my marriage. Scott and I have been going through it really hard for a really long time. Somewhere along the way, we lost what made us a great couple - the ability to laugh and have fun no matter what our situation is. The love for each other is still there, but it is buried so deep that it is going to take some work to get it back to the surface. Work that we are both MORE than willing to do.
Another is Courtney. She had the most awful school year to date. 9th grade was too hard for her socially. She was actually told by another child that she was "nothing but a failed abortion". No child on the face of this earth deserves to be told that and no child deserves to have someone think that of them. And yes, they are just words, but words hurt her more than being hit. Gone are the days that Mom could make everything better just by spending time with her. She is realizing that she is different, even though we have been explaining it since she was tiny, and it is killing her. We are working with doctors (still) and praying that her sophomore year goes a little better. Scott and I also came to the realization (although I thought we had before, but we didn't) that Courtney will not have a normal high school excperience. She will not go to the prom, footballs games and dates. And while I thought I had come to terms with it a long time ago, apparently I hadn't. And that wound that I keep covered up and hidden is open and bleeding right now.
So Scott and I had a long talk and we decided that we need to start worrying about The Colemans, and not so much about everyone else. We had an eye opening experience when Scott's grandmother passed that made us realize what is important to us, and nothing is more important than each of us is to each other.
So we are getting back to basics in the Coleman Family. We are on a journey of sorts to discover us again and to find the balance that works for us, where people smile and laugh a whole lot more than they cry or are frustrated.
We are going to learn to tell others "No", which I am sure will make friends and family mad at us, but that is a risk that we are willing to take. We have to take.
I am sure there are going to be some GREAT stories that come from this journey. And if you know me at all, you will know that I will post the good, the bad and the ugly all on this blog. So check back here and leave a comment to tell me you stopped by.
Today I am taking my first step of sorts, and I will admit that I am a little scared to see if we have what it takes, but we have to start somewhere...
and there is no better time than now!
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