So, as all of you know, I have an older brother.
He is funny and he is smart and he is rude and drives me nuts. Our relationship is the type that we would be there for each other in a heartbeat, but the day to day stuff chat one a week visit each other on a regular basis will never happen. I am not being mean…that is just the facts.
A couple of weeks ago he called me to tell me that he was in the process of planning a surprise 40th birthday party for his wife, Kim. He asked if we could come. My family couldn’t come, but I could. So last Friday, I drove the 7 hours to his house.
Now, let me tell you, this wasn’t your typical surprise party. Nope. Jeff isn’t typical. He threw her an Amazing Race themed party complete with clues and travel.
She was in California on business and met up with my mom and dad for dinner and a play. My mom and dad gave her the first clue. When she arrived back home in Florida, her friends from South Carolina gave her the next two clues. Jeff gave her the 4th and 5th clue. Her best friend from Arkansas flew in to give her the next clue. Another good friend, that I can’t remember her state, flew into her give her the next clue. Her parents drove in from Tennessee to give her a clue. I came from Georgia to give her a clue. Friends from Tennessee flew in as part of clue. Jeff made sure that everyone who came in from out of town were the people to give her the clues. The last clue took her to a park where something like 55 additional people were waiting for her. Jeff pulled up on the grass and the two of them ran to the “finish line”, where Jeff announced that after almost 20 years of marriage and 3 kids “KIM FINALLY TURNED 40!”
That woman was a mess that day. A good mess. She cried all sorts of happy tears that day.
Then afterwards, a bunch of us went to dinner and back to their house and played cards. It was a perfect day and Jeff planned it all.
The next day I went to church with them. This is only the 2nd time this church has had a service. We were there early and I was sitting out in the lobby. I couldn’t see Jeff, but I could hear him. He was talking to the team of greeters telling them what they needed to do.
This is the Jeff that I forget about.
With me, I get one and two word answers. With them he was wonderful. Which makes sense, right? With family you sometimes get what is left.
But I was happy to remember that he is really good at what he does. He is well respected. He is well liked. He is really funny.
And I am really proud of him.
And if all I get is what is left, that is okay with me because he sure does give to a lot of others who need it way more than me!
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Ok… Melissa! I am just catching up on reading your blogs tonight and you have made me laugh, you have made me mad and now you are making me SAD! (Maybe I should have read them in reverse order!) This post actually makes me sad…sad to know that you and your brother do not have a day to day or week to week relationship. Even though, you may be “okay” with that, you guys are missing out on what each other truly have to offer. Let me reword that…I can only speak from what I know. I don’t know the value of what your brother has to offer because I don’t know him personally. I do know one thing for sure…he is missing out on the amazing, most wonderful, kind, beautiful and generous person you are. The fact that he doesn’t experience that on a regular basis makes me sad. As your friend, I am proud to say that I know you….and that I get to know every side of you; I know your heart and what is in it. Life gets in the way sometimes….but there is no excuse for NOT making your family a priority. “Getting what is left” is never acceptable-I hope one day you and Jeff will have not only a day-to-day relationship but a friendship too!
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