Growing up, in the summer, we would go stay a couple of weeks with my Grandmother in Porterville, CA. Doing this, we also got to stay with my Uncle Bill and Aunt Clidella.
Uncle Bill is my dad’s older brother.
His house was very cool to be at. Not only were my cousins, Luanne, Suzanne and Shannon there, but they had cats! My parents wouldn’t allow us to have animals and my Uncle always had cats and I loved cats!
My cousins were in FFA and raised sheep. One summer, I got to go with them to have the wool sheared off of the sheep. I thought that was cool.
They lived across the street from a huge orange grove and one time my cousin, Shannon, packed a picnic lunch and we went into the orange grove and sat under the trees and ate it together.
They had a pool in the back yard and every morning my Uncle would clean the pool. He would get the frogs out of the filters and he would have me get in and get the leaves he couldn’t get off of the bottom.
My Uncle owned a liquor store and when I went to store with him, he let me get candy and I didn’t have to pay for it. I was SO impressed with that!
He was a gruff man, like my dad, but always very nice to me.
He passed away yesterday and my mind flooded with all of these memories and more.
Even though I haven’t seen him in years, I will miss him.
I take a certain pleasure in knowing that he is with my Grandma now.
And that I have memories of all those summers!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Only the Strong Will Survive
When Courtney was 3, her grandma bought her some summer clothes. One outfit was a pair of yellow shorts with little orange popsicles on the cuff and an orange shirt.
For some reason, Courtney LOVED those shorts.
We had only been living in Georgia for about 6 months and were renting a house. I had sent Courtney upstairs to get dressed. From the kitchen I can hear her opening and closing the dresser drawers. Each one is being slammed harder than the previous. She comes downstairs in only her Blue’s Clues underwear and announces, with her hands on her hips, that she CANNOT FIND HER POPSICLE SHORTS.
I can see her in my mind as clear as if it had happened yesterday.
It was hysterical.
I explained to her that she had worn them the day before and that they were in the wash. She decided to wait for them to get done being washed and dried and REFUSED to wear anything else until they were ready.
That was one of my first lessons in how strong willed the child was going to be.
She was in Kindergarten and she wasn’t any bigger than when she was three. She didn’t agree with what the teacher wanted her to do – coloring is clearly for babies. So she packed up her book bag set on her desk and told the teacher to call her mom to come get her.
Oh, they called me alright.
And I had to get on the phone with her and tell her that I wasn’t coming to get her and that she had to do what the teacher told her to do whether she liked to or not. She actually told me on the phone that she would stay today, but we would discuss the rest of the week when I got home for work.
She is in high school now, so clearly I won that battle.
She was in 2nd grade and was being mainstreamed part of the day with the “typical” kids. She decided she no longer needed to be in the special education class. To prove this, she decided to not spell her spelling test words correctly. She left out all of the vowels. In her mind, these words were below her and she didn’t need to take this test. When the teacher told her she failed and had to write each word 10 times, she begged the teacher to let her take the test again. The teacher agreed, and low and behold the child passed with flying colors.
She is 15 now.
And more strong willed than when she was 3.
She is the only one in the house that has a room upstairs. We have always put her stuff on the bannister. That way, she can just grab it when she is going up.
Lately, I have noticed that she isn’t taking her things up with her. So, I started putting her stuff on the actual stairs.
I kid you not – the child jumped over her things TWICE and never carried them up to her room.
When I pointed this out to her, she just looked at me and told me that she would eventually take the stuff up, just not right now.
*Take a deep breath, Melissa. Pick your battles, Melissa*
I thought it would get easier. I thought I would be able to reason with her as she got older.
Hell, I can’t even bribe her to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do.
In a way I am glad that she is strong willed. I am pretty sure that it is going to work in her favor one day.
But right now, I am pretty sure I am going to kill her.
For some reason, Courtney LOVED those shorts.
We had only been living in Georgia for about 6 months and were renting a house. I had sent Courtney upstairs to get dressed. From the kitchen I can hear her opening and closing the dresser drawers. Each one is being slammed harder than the previous. She comes downstairs in only her Blue’s Clues underwear and announces, with her hands on her hips, that she CANNOT FIND HER POPSICLE SHORTS.
I can see her in my mind as clear as if it had happened yesterday.
It was hysterical.
I explained to her that she had worn them the day before and that they were in the wash. She decided to wait for them to get done being washed and dried and REFUSED to wear anything else until they were ready.
That was one of my first lessons in how strong willed the child was going to be.
She was in Kindergarten and she wasn’t any bigger than when she was three. She didn’t agree with what the teacher wanted her to do – coloring is clearly for babies. So she packed up her book bag set on her desk and told the teacher to call her mom to come get her.
Oh, they called me alright.
And I had to get on the phone with her and tell her that I wasn’t coming to get her and that she had to do what the teacher told her to do whether she liked to or not. She actually told me on the phone that she would stay today, but we would discuss the rest of the week when I got home for work.
She is in high school now, so clearly I won that battle.
She was in 2nd grade and was being mainstreamed part of the day with the “typical” kids. She decided she no longer needed to be in the special education class. To prove this, she decided to not spell her spelling test words correctly. She left out all of the vowels. In her mind, these words were below her and she didn’t need to take this test. When the teacher told her she failed and had to write each word 10 times, she begged the teacher to let her take the test again. The teacher agreed, and low and behold the child passed with flying colors.
She is 15 now.
And more strong willed than when she was 3.
She is the only one in the house that has a room upstairs. We have always put her stuff on the bannister. That way, she can just grab it when she is going up.
Lately, I have noticed that she isn’t taking her things up with her. So, I started putting her stuff on the actual stairs.
I kid you not – the child jumped over her things TWICE and never carried them up to her room.
When I pointed this out to her, she just looked at me and told me that she would eventually take the stuff up, just not right now.
*Take a deep breath, Melissa. Pick your battles, Melissa*
I thought it would get easier. I thought I would be able to reason with her as she got older.
Hell, I can’t even bribe her to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do.
In a way I am glad that she is strong willed. I am pretty sure that it is going to work in her favor one day.
But right now, I am pretty sure I am going to kill her.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted To Love
Scott and I are very dear friends with a couple who can’t have children.
Several years ago they came to us and told us that they were going to go through the process to get approved to adopt a child. They had already talked to the “powers that be” and were told that while it could take forever to get a baby, they could get an older child quicker. I think they agreed that they would take a child up to 5, but I could have that fact wrong.
They asked us to write a letter of recommendation for them.
So I sat down and wrote a letter straight from my heart. It talked about how kind they both are and why I thought they would be excellent parents.
They went through the process and got approved. The day they were approved they were told it could take MONTHS for a child to be placed in their home.
It wasn’t a week later that they got a call that there was a 4 week old little boy who needed a home. His parents are addicts and he was born addicted. If they thought they might be interested, he could be in their home in a couple days.
Interested?
OF COURSE THEY WERE INTERESTED.
So I went over and picked her up and we went to Babies R Us and grabbed a couple carts. I started telling her how many of what to get just to get them started. Other friends started arranging a baby shower.
Then he arrived.
4 weeks old and his birth mother had shot up within hours of delivering him.
The saddest thing was to see him try to get un-addicted to what his birth mother forced him to be addicted to.
But this child came into a home full of love and friends and family that would move mountains for him.
Today he is a normal kindergartener with a smile who will melt you hair.
When he was a couple years old, they received call that he had a brother. This baby was 4 months old and were they interested in him?
Interested?
OF COURSE THEY WERE INTERESTED.
So along came baby #2.
Also addicted.
Just as cute!
So began the journey of getting this little one clean and sober.
Sober he got and today he is a normal three year old who is hard headed and ALL BOY. This one can do no wrong in my eyes and I enjoy watching him when he doesn’t know that I am.
Over two years ago they received a call that the birth mother is in jail and she is pregnant. Were they interested in this unborn baby?
Interested?
OF COURSE THEY WERE INTERESTED.
So two years ago this month, they brought home the sweetest little girl. Big blue eyes and the same dimples as both of her brothers.
Born addicted, but not as bad as the boys. Apparently you CAN get things in jail.
This past Saturday she turned two. She can keep up with her older brothers like nobody’s business.
You want to know what is funny? ALL three of these kids look like our friends. To look at them, you would not know they were adopted.
It’s like God, when he was making these babies, took a little bit of our friends and dropped them into these children.
And then he dropped these children into a home full of love.
And now that home is really noisy.
And toys are everywhere.
And our get togethers are not what they used to be.
And NONE of us would have it any other way!
Several years ago they came to us and told us that they were going to go through the process to get approved to adopt a child. They had already talked to the “powers that be” and were told that while it could take forever to get a baby, they could get an older child quicker. I think they agreed that they would take a child up to 5, but I could have that fact wrong.
They asked us to write a letter of recommendation for them.
So I sat down and wrote a letter straight from my heart. It talked about how kind they both are and why I thought they would be excellent parents.
They went through the process and got approved. The day they were approved they were told it could take MONTHS for a child to be placed in their home.
It wasn’t a week later that they got a call that there was a 4 week old little boy who needed a home. His parents are addicts and he was born addicted. If they thought they might be interested, he could be in their home in a couple days.
Interested?
OF COURSE THEY WERE INTERESTED.
So I went over and picked her up and we went to Babies R Us and grabbed a couple carts. I started telling her how many of what to get just to get them started. Other friends started arranging a baby shower.
Then he arrived.
4 weeks old and his birth mother had shot up within hours of delivering him.
The saddest thing was to see him try to get un-addicted to what his birth mother forced him to be addicted to.
But this child came into a home full of love and friends and family that would move mountains for him.
Today he is a normal kindergartener with a smile who will melt you hair.
When he was a couple years old, they received call that he had a brother. This baby was 4 months old and were they interested in him?
Interested?
OF COURSE THEY WERE INTERESTED.
So along came baby #2.
Also addicted.
Just as cute!
So began the journey of getting this little one clean and sober.
Sober he got and today he is a normal three year old who is hard headed and ALL BOY. This one can do no wrong in my eyes and I enjoy watching him when he doesn’t know that I am.
Over two years ago they received a call that the birth mother is in jail and she is pregnant. Were they interested in this unborn baby?
Interested?
OF COURSE THEY WERE INTERESTED.
So two years ago this month, they brought home the sweetest little girl. Big blue eyes and the same dimples as both of her brothers.
Born addicted, but not as bad as the boys. Apparently you CAN get things in jail.
This past Saturday she turned two. She can keep up with her older brothers like nobody’s business.
You want to know what is funny? ALL three of these kids look like our friends. To look at them, you would not know they were adopted.
It’s like God, when he was making these babies, took a little bit of our friends and dropped them into these children.
And then he dropped these children into a home full of love.
And now that home is really noisy.
And toys are everywhere.
And our get togethers are not what they used to be.
And NONE of us would have it any other way!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
15 Years and I Seems Like Yesterday
I woke Scott up at 4:00am and told him my water broke.
He just looked at me.
I told him to hand me the phone so I could call the doctor.
Labor had just started and she told me to get up and go walk to get it going and she would call periodically to check on me.
So walk I did.
Finally, at 11:00am, the doctor told me to meet her at the hospital. I made Scott shave my legs because I didn’t want to deliver a baby with hairy legs.
Scott not only obliged, he had already flipped the mattress, changed the sheets and prepared the house for my mom’s arrival from California.
I was pre-registered at the hospital. When I arrive, I told the attendant the labor and delivery was expecting me. He had the nerve to ask me if I was in labor. I stood there and told him that my water broke over 7 hours ago and my contractions were 5 minutes apart, so I am pretty sure that YEAH I AM IN LABOR.
They get me to my room and hook me up to everything and told me we should be done by 3:00pm.
3:00pm came and went.
The epidural wore off and they couldn’t give me another one.
4:00pm
5:00pm
6:00pm
Scott called our neighbors and they brought him some dinner.
7:00pm
8:00pm
I finally told Scott that I didn’t want to do this anymore and let’s just go home.
Apparently, that was not an option.
9:03pm she finally arrived.
They laid all 8lbs 1oz 19.5” of her on my stomach.
She wasn’t crying and the room was nice and dark.
I put my hands on her and whispered to her how I had been waiting all day to meet her.
She craned her head back to look at me, with both eyes open.
And my heart melted into a big pile of mush.
15 years later my heart still melts.
She is my life and I cannot imagine what things would be like without her.
I am SO glad she is mine!!!!
He just looked at me.
I told him to hand me the phone so I could call the doctor.
Labor had just started and she told me to get up and go walk to get it going and she would call periodically to check on me.
So walk I did.
Finally, at 11:00am, the doctor told me to meet her at the hospital. I made Scott shave my legs because I didn’t want to deliver a baby with hairy legs.
Scott not only obliged, he had already flipped the mattress, changed the sheets and prepared the house for my mom’s arrival from California.
I was pre-registered at the hospital. When I arrive, I told the attendant the labor and delivery was expecting me. He had the nerve to ask me if I was in labor. I stood there and told him that my water broke over 7 hours ago and my contractions were 5 minutes apart, so I am pretty sure that YEAH I AM IN LABOR.
They get me to my room and hook me up to everything and told me we should be done by 3:00pm.
3:00pm came and went.
The epidural wore off and they couldn’t give me another one.
4:00pm
5:00pm
6:00pm
Scott called our neighbors and they brought him some dinner.
7:00pm
8:00pm
I finally told Scott that I didn’t want to do this anymore and let’s just go home.
Apparently, that was not an option.
9:03pm she finally arrived.
They laid all 8lbs 1oz 19.5” of her on my stomach.
She wasn’t crying and the room was nice and dark.
I put my hands on her and whispered to her how I had been waiting all day to meet her.
She craned her head back to look at me, with both eyes open.
And my heart melted into a big pile of mush.
15 years later my heart still melts.
She is my life and I cannot imagine what things would be like without her.
I am SO glad she is mine!!!!
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