A Post That Won't Mean Anything To Anyone

I know I talk a lot on here about Autism.

It is because it consumes our life all the time...and lately it has been consuming us more than we would like.

Courtney,in case you don't know, has Asperger's Syndrome. While she is super smart, she struggles socially. Really struggles. And the older she gets, the more she struggles. And the more she struggles, the less I can help. And it is killing me.

She is 15. This is a hard age for any girl on the face of this planet. I look back on when I was this age and THANK GOD that I no longer am. However, over the last year, Courtney has really started realize (and this is a pretty big step for her) that she is different...and she is not coping well with it. *I should also note that it didn't help that we decided to change her meds during all of this, which started off as an EPIC FAIL, but the doctor got us back on track like 5 days before school started...so it was a ROUGH summer*

But while she has been realizing things, Scott and I have been coming to realizations of out own. We see all of our friends and their kids and we realized this summer that she won't be going to the Homecoming Dance, she won't be driving a car any time soon, she won't be going to football games with a bunch of friends. And to see all of the posts on Facebook really makes brings it home.

She is seeing her friends and family members getting their permits to drive. She asked how old you have to be to get a permit. I told her she had to be 15 and she had to have it for one year and one day before she could take the driving test. She asked me why she can't get a permit. I told her because she wasn't ready and that I wasn't saying no...I was saying not now.

You should have seen the look on her face. It broke my heart.

She didn't argue with me...she just didn't talk about it anymore.

I chose to believe that one day, she will leave home, live on her own, come over for Sunday dinner and to do laundry.

Her doctors tell us we need to start preparing her for that transition now. I tell them that I would like to get through the school year successfully.

They just smile that all knowing smile.

I swear, if I was her, I would not leave the house sometimes. But she gets up every day and tries again.

And because she does, so do we.