Getting Back to Basics

Okay - so most of you know that I am closing my Facebook account.

I think I just need to do that - and there are many reasons why. Some of them are dumb reasons and some of them are super personal. I will lay them all out here for you in hopes that you will understand, but don't necessarily expect you to.

And that is okay.

One reason is I am now working two jobs. It isn't many hours, but it is still hours away from Scott and Courtney. I feel like when I am home, I need to be more checked into them.

Another reason is some people have been using Facebook to not be really nice to me or my family, and it is starting to effect me. So much so that I have put on 6lbs. I know that is not a lot of weight with the amount that I have lost, but it is enough to make me know that I don't want to be fat again. And if people being mean is going to do that to me, I am going to stop that part of it.

Another reason is my marriage. Scott and I have been going through it really hard for a really long time. Somewhere along the way, we lost what made us a great couple - the ability to laugh and have fun no matter what our situation is. The love for each other is still there, but it is buried so deep that it is going to take some work to get it back to the surface. Work that we are both MORE than willing to do.

Another is Courtney. She had the most awful school year to date. 9th grade was too hard for her socially. She was actually told by another child that she was "nothing but a failed abortion". No child on the face of this earth deserves to be told that and no child deserves to have someone think that of them. And yes, they are just words, but words hurt her more than being hit. Gone are the days that Mom could make everything better just by spending time with her. She is realizing that she is different, even though we have been explaining it since she was tiny, and it is killing her. We are working with doctors (still) and praying that her sophomore year goes a little better. Scott and I also came to the realization (although I thought we had before, but we didn't) that Courtney will not have a normal high school excperience. She will not go to the prom, footballs games and dates. And while I thought I had come to terms with it a long time ago, apparently I hadn't. And that wound that I keep covered up and hidden is open and bleeding right now.

So Scott and I had a long talk and we decided that we need to start worrying about The Colemans, and not so much about everyone else. We had an eye opening experience when Scott's grandmother passed that made us realize what is important to us, and nothing is more important than each of us is to each other.

So we are getting back to basics in the Coleman Family. We are on a journey of sorts to discover us again and to find the balance that works for us, where people smile and laugh a whole lot more than they cry or are frustrated.

We are going to learn to tell others "No", which I am sure will make friends and family mad at us, but that is a risk that we are willing to take. We have to take.

I am sure there are going to be some GREAT stories that come from this journey. And if you know me at all, you will know that I will post the good, the bad and the ugly all on this blog. So check back here and leave a comment to tell me you stopped by.

Today I am taking my first step of sorts, and I will admit that I am a little scared to see if we have what it takes, but we have to start somewhere...

and there is no better time than now!