Memories

When I was little, we lived 20 minutes from my mom's parents and 4 hours from my dad's mom.

When I was in 3rd grade, my dad's moms, Grams, died.

She was the coolest grandma ever.

We used to tell each other what we got each other for Christmas. She liked the hand made slippers that my mom would get her from the church bizarre. She got me my first camera. It was a Kodak with flash bulbs.

She ALWAYS made chocolate chip cookies when we came to town. And a hot breakfast. ALWAYS a hot breakfast.

I remember I asked her one time, while we were playing kings on the corner, what if you fall down or something and need someone and you are all alone. She told me that she had friends that checked on her all the time and for me not to worry.

I still worried.

She always wore, and always smelled of Jergen's Lotion. I keep a bottle of that in my bathroom at all time so I can still smell her.

I cried hard when she died. She was the first dead person that I ever saw. It scared the crap out of the 3rd grade me.

I still miss her.

I have NO pictures of her for my own.

When I was in 5th grade, my mom's dad, Grandaddy, died. He was sick for a long time.

He was the best granddad a kid could ask for.

He ALWAYS had lifesavers in his pocket and Coke in the bottle in his fridge. He let me have my own bottle too. I didn't have to share it with Jeff. THAT was so cool.

I cried hard when he died. My 5th grade self couldn't understand why medicine couldn't make him better.

I still miss him.

My family has posted pictures from long ago of him on Facebook and I keep a picture of him up in my office at work. He was handsome as could be.

My mom's mom, Nana, is still alive.

She is 92.

She was the best Nana in the world. She would sit next to me in church and give me gum. She would by us Christmas gifts early, put them under her bed and forget about them, and then buy us all new stuff for Christmas.

Dementia has stolen some of her memories.

She can't remember me when I visit because she doesn't see me on a regular basis.

She can't remember that I have a daughter that is named after her husband. She would be thrilled about that if she could remember.

Last year at this time, she was really sick and everyone was preparing to say goodbye. But she rallied and seems to be doing fine in her body. Her mind isn't, but her body is.

My 41 year old self doesn't want to understand dementia, but I do.

It is an evil robber who takes everything good from your memory.

Like grandkids and great grandkids.

Thank God I remember her and Grandaddy and Grams.

Thank God for memories.