We have entered into my favorite time of the year…
Fall.
When Scott and I were first dating, I think we were both surprised to find out that each other’s favorite season is fall.
He likes the breeze and cool, but not cold, temperatures.
I like the colors.
This is also why I LOVE living in Georgia.
The colors are breathtaking. The golds, the reds, the oranges…words on paper cannot give them the justice they deserve.
Fall is when I open then windows and let God in. He has me wrapped in warmth. He brings the outside alive. As I drive to work he takes the time to say – Look what I did for you! I brought you cooler weather, I gave you a sunrise that just dances off of the colors on the trees and I gave you a spouse who loves it as much as you so you can enjoy it together.
Our nightly dog walking has turned into a brisk walk with my arm linked through his so I can steal some of his warmth, walking in rhythm and just being happy to be out and together.
Fall
I am so glad you are here….
Friday, October 8, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Parenting is Not For Sissys!
Parenting is hard.
I don’t care if you have the best kid in the entire world; the job is hard and doesn’t come with an instruction manual. 9 times out of 10 I am guessing as to what to do. I have taken advice from my mom, mother in law, co-workers, doctors and, once, even considered asking a stranger on the street.
My kid is a drama queen with a capital DRAMA QUEEN. Everything is either the best thing ever or the end of the world. There is no in between for her. Nope. It is cloud 9 or death.
So when she told me that she couldn’t see, I didn’t really believe her. She passed her eye tests at school, so why should I think she was as blind as she wanted me to believe? She claimed she couldn’t see the clock in the kitchen and she never knew the time. I thought she was too lazy to turn her head and look. She told me that she couldn’t see the board in her last period of the day. I thought that was because she hated that class and wanted to come home early.
Finally she started complaining of headaches almost every day. I told Scott that I was going to take her to the doctor because I suffer from migraines and thought she was also. He told me to take her to get her eyes checked first. I argued with him because she just passed her eye test at school last year. He said for me to pay the $10.00 co-pay and that way we can tell her we have had her tested and she is not blind.
So Saturday we went to the eye doctor.
I was pretty sure she was going to sit down in the chair and be just fine. The doctor started with her right eye. She could BARELY read the 3rd line down. Even through that entire eye exam, I thought she was faking. Then they tested her left eye and just zipped right through it.
The doctor gets done and looks at me.
Me: Bad right eye?
Dr: Oh Yeah. That is what is causing the headaches. The left eye has to compensate for everything and by the end of the day she should be having trouble seeing much of anything.
Court: See Mom! I told you!
So – Mother of the Year, I am not. But Mother Doing the Best She Can, I am.
I’ll take that award and will wear it with pride. Just like my mom did.
I don’t care if you have the best kid in the entire world; the job is hard and doesn’t come with an instruction manual. 9 times out of 10 I am guessing as to what to do. I have taken advice from my mom, mother in law, co-workers, doctors and, once, even considered asking a stranger on the street.
My kid is a drama queen with a capital DRAMA QUEEN. Everything is either the best thing ever or the end of the world. There is no in between for her. Nope. It is cloud 9 or death.
So when she told me that she couldn’t see, I didn’t really believe her. She passed her eye tests at school, so why should I think she was as blind as she wanted me to believe? She claimed she couldn’t see the clock in the kitchen and she never knew the time. I thought she was too lazy to turn her head and look. She told me that she couldn’t see the board in her last period of the day. I thought that was because she hated that class and wanted to come home early.
Finally she started complaining of headaches almost every day. I told Scott that I was going to take her to the doctor because I suffer from migraines and thought she was also. He told me to take her to get her eyes checked first. I argued with him because she just passed her eye test at school last year. He said for me to pay the $10.00 co-pay and that way we can tell her we have had her tested and she is not blind.
So Saturday we went to the eye doctor.
I was pretty sure she was going to sit down in the chair and be just fine. The doctor started with her right eye. She could BARELY read the 3rd line down. Even through that entire eye exam, I thought she was faking. Then they tested her left eye and just zipped right through it.
The doctor gets done and looks at me.
Me: Bad right eye?
Dr: Oh Yeah. That is what is causing the headaches. The left eye has to compensate for everything and by the end of the day she should be having trouble seeing much of anything.
Court: See Mom! I told you!
So – Mother of the Year, I am not. But Mother Doing the Best She Can, I am.
I’ll take that award and will wear it with pride. Just like my mom did.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Wake Up Call
So as most of you know, Courtney is Autistic. She is a high functioning autistic and does pretty well. Because she is who she is, I have joined a lot of groups and list serves that deal with issues that arise with these types of children.
I had thought I read everything but today took the cake. A mom actually posted that when her child was diagnosed she never read the report from the doctor. She listened to what he said, but never read the detailed report. Today she read it and was SURPRISED to find out that it was not all gloom and doom.
Surprised.
I guess what has me all up in arms is that she took what the doctor said and buried her head in the sand. If I knew this person I would drive over to her house and take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into the woman. He is her child. That alone should make her read every doctor’s report, ask every question and then re-ask them until she understands.
I have been there where the room is spinning and you think this isn’t what I signed up for when I decided to have a kid. But Scott and decided long ago it was our job to push the envelope.
My mom told me once that if I have high expectations for Courtney, she will meet them, but also if I have low expectations, she will meet those too. I think that applies to all parents of all kids everywhere.
My sister in law once told me we are our child’s biggest cheerleaders and only defenders. That is probably the most honest thing that has ever been said to me.
So for those of you who can’t get out of bed today – I understand. However, there is a kid on the other side of that door who needs to you to get up and greet the day with a smile (even a forced one) and tell the world this is my kid and they deserve to have a good day.
Pretty soon, that smile won’t be forced.
I had thought I read everything but today took the cake. A mom actually posted that when her child was diagnosed she never read the report from the doctor. She listened to what he said, but never read the detailed report. Today she read it and was SURPRISED to find out that it was not all gloom and doom.
Surprised.
I guess what has me all up in arms is that she took what the doctor said and buried her head in the sand. If I knew this person I would drive over to her house and take her by the shoulders and shake some sense into the woman. He is her child. That alone should make her read every doctor’s report, ask every question and then re-ask them until she understands.
I have been there where the room is spinning and you think this isn’t what I signed up for when I decided to have a kid. But Scott and decided long ago it was our job to push the envelope.
My mom told me once that if I have high expectations for Courtney, she will meet them, but also if I have low expectations, she will meet those too. I think that applies to all parents of all kids everywhere.
My sister in law once told me we are our child’s biggest cheerleaders and only defenders. That is probably the most honest thing that has ever been said to me.
So for those of you who can’t get out of bed today – I understand. However, there is a kid on the other side of that door who needs to you to get up and greet the day with a smile (even a forced one) and tell the world this is my kid and they deserve to have a good day.
Pretty soon, that smile won’t be forced.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Look At Those Pukes!
When I was growing up the punk rock scene was really big. It was not uncommon for me to go to school with kids who had colored Mohawks. One guy always changed the color of his hair to match the holiday we were in. So you knew at Christmas, his Mohawk would be green and red.
I had a friend, Jennifer Johnson, visiting me. We were on the way to church. My dad was driving. We were stopped at a light and crossing the street in front of us were some of the above mentioned type of people. My dad says, out loud for everyone in the car to hear, “look at those pukes.” J.J. turns to me and asks what a “puke” is. I had to explain that it was anyone that my dad felt was not “normal”. I was used to his comments, but my friends were not.
I remember thinking that he was just so old and didn’t “get it” and I was never going to be like him.
I am now 41.
I was at the pool last night because they were having a teen BBQ and DJ party and Courtney wanted to go. First of all, some of these kids should be locked up. I know that it is still kind of in fashion for guys to wear baggy jeans that fall down below their waist, way down, but I didn’t realize that they wear their bathing suits the same way. And what’s up with these girls wear see through bathing suits? Really? See through? And did the music HAVE to be so loud? I was trying to talk to my friend, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying back. (Actually I could care less about the music, it was really good and I like music.)
And to make matters worse, Scott and I actually schedule our time at the pool when we know there are going to be as little people there as possible because, you know, WE ARE TURNING INTO OUR PARENTS.
I think I might take Courtney to get a Mohawk or a piercing.
Who am I kidding? I don’t want MY kid looking like a “puke”!
I had a friend, Jennifer Johnson, visiting me. We were on the way to church. My dad was driving. We were stopped at a light and crossing the street in front of us were some of the above mentioned type of people. My dad says, out loud for everyone in the car to hear, “look at those pukes.” J.J. turns to me and asks what a “puke” is. I had to explain that it was anyone that my dad felt was not “normal”. I was used to his comments, but my friends were not.
I remember thinking that he was just so old and didn’t “get it” and I was never going to be like him.
I am now 41.
I was at the pool last night because they were having a teen BBQ and DJ party and Courtney wanted to go. First of all, some of these kids should be locked up. I know that it is still kind of in fashion for guys to wear baggy jeans that fall down below their waist, way down, but I didn’t realize that they wear their bathing suits the same way. And what’s up with these girls wear see through bathing suits? Really? See through? And did the music HAVE to be so loud? I was trying to talk to my friend, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying back. (Actually I could care less about the music, it was really good and I like music.)
And to make matters worse, Scott and I actually schedule our time at the pool when we know there are going to be as little people there as possible because, you know, WE ARE TURNING INTO OUR PARENTS.
I think I might take Courtney to get a Mohawk or a piercing.
Who am I kidding? I don’t want MY kid looking like a “puke”!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Pick A Winner
So I am driving to work today and behind me is a very good looking blonde in a BMW.
The windows are not tinted, so anyone can see in any of her windows and get a clear view of what she is doing.
Anyone.
Now, I had looked, really glanced, just to see what was going on behind me, because I was going to need to punch it right out of the gate to get over so I could make my turn ahead. If you have ever driven with me, you know that I consider my ride to work a contest and the more time I can take off of yesterday’s drive to work, the better my ride in is.
But I digress…
So I glance in my review and see Blondie digging for gold in her nose. This was not a scratch. It was not a quick inspection, it was a full on up to the knuckle dig.
All the while she is inspecting what she is doing in her mirror.
It was like a train wreck. I couldn’t not watch!
Then, after she finishes her expedition, she runs those fingers through her hair and straightens her bangs. All without so much as a wipe off on her clothes first.
Are you kidding me?
Grossness.
Clearly she needs to tint her windows.
And just so you know, the light changed, I was not first through the intersection and I missed my turn, causing me to have to take the long way to work.
Which didn’t do anything for my stats today.
The windows are not tinted, so anyone can see in any of her windows and get a clear view of what she is doing.
Anyone.
Now, I had looked, really glanced, just to see what was going on behind me, because I was going to need to punch it right out of the gate to get over so I could make my turn ahead. If you have ever driven with me, you know that I consider my ride to work a contest and the more time I can take off of yesterday’s drive to work, the better my ride in is.
But I digress…
So I glance in my review and see Blondie digging for gold in her nose. This was not a scratch. It was not a quick inspection, it was a full on up to the knuckle dig.
All the while she is inspecting what she is doing in her mirror.
It was like a train wreck. I couldn’t not watch!
Then, after she finishes her expedition, she runs those fingers through her hair and straightens her bangs. All without so much as a wipe off on her clothes first.
Are you kidding me?
Grossness.
Clearly she needs to tint her windows.
And just so you know, the light changed, I was not first through the intersection and I missed my turn, causing me to have to take the long way to work.
Which didn’t do anything for my stats today.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Put A Fork In It...It's Done
When your faith is stretched so thin
that you can see straight through your soul-
-Sugarland
Faith is defined on the web as: A strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny; an institution to express belief to a divine power.
For the last 14 years I have had faith that my child would, not be healed, but would progress significantly. I thought by the time that she entered high school, friends would be made and life would be less hurtful and hard for her.
Prayer is defined on the web as: The act of communication with a deity.
For the last 14 years I have prayed that I would know what to do when it comes to parenting her; that I would know what decisions to make when it comes to her schooling and when it comes to her autism treatments.
Lately, I have had so much trouble with these two words and EVERYTHING that goes with them.
I can tell you this…14 years into it, I fell no more confident than I did when they told us she had autism.
But my faith has been shaken a lot over the last year. The loss of a couple friends – one to anger and one to selfishness, watching people’s marriages dissolve like it wasn’t worth the time or effort to save and a myriad of other things that are little but add up.
And I am sure that many of you will want to quote scriptures to me that prove that prayer works, and that things happening are God’s will and not mine. I get that, I really do.
And I get that nothing is ever easy and I believe that when I tell Courtney that anything worth doing is not going to be easy I am telling her the truth.
But the people who tell me to just pray and have faith and that all will be better need to understand that I have done all of that.
I have done all of that – so what else do ya got? Because, really, right now I am open to anything…aliens, cults, drugs…so what else do ya got?
And no, I am not going to do any of those things. But right now, this minute, I am done with everything. Tomorrow, we will try it again, but as for today…
Today I am done.
that you can see straight through your soul-
-Sugarland
Faith is defined on the web as: A strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny; an institution to express belief to a divine power.
For the last 14 years I have had faith that my child would, not be healed, but would progress significantly. I thought by the time that she entered high school, friends would be made and life would be less hurtful and hard for her.
Prayer is defined on the web as: The act of communication with a deity.
For the last 14 years I have prayed that I would know what to do when it comes to parenting her; that I would know what decisions to make when it comes to her schooling and when it comes to her autism treatments.
Lately, I have had so much trouble with these two words and EVERYTHING that goes with them.
I can tell you this…14 years into it, I fell no more confident than I did when they told us she had autism.
But my faith has been shaken a lot over the last year. The loss of a couple friends – one to anger and one to selfishness, watching people’s marriages dissolve like it wasn’t worth the time or effort to save and a myriad of other things that are little but add up.
And I am sure that many of you will want to quote scriptures to me that prove that prayer works, and that things happening are God’s will and not mine. I get that, I really do.
And I get that nothing is ever easy and I believe that when I tell Courtney that anything worth doing is not going to be easy I am telling her the truth.
But the people who tell me to just pray and have faith and that all will be better need to understand that I have done all of that.
I have done all of that – so what else do ya got? Because, really, right now I am open to anything…aliens, cults, drugs…so what else do ya got?
And no, I am not going to do any of those things. But right now, this minute, I am done with everything. Tomorrow, we will try it again, but as for today…
Today I am done.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
A Reunion
This past weekend I attended, for the first time, a Family Reunion on Scott’s side of the family.
Scott’s mom is named Judy. This was for her side of the family.
Judy has two sisters, Carol and Faye. Carol is older and Faye is younger. Growing up, they would spend their summers in Kentucky on the farm of their mother’s sister. They have two cousins, Linda aka Sissy and Donna.
The host family for the reunion was Linda and her husband Cecil.
Once we got there, and the introductions were made, we moved inside and I said “okay tell me who everyone is and how you are all related.” Within minutes, photo albums were pulled out and stories started being told. I was able to sit back and see the joy on Judy’s face as she told the story of her uncle, Linda’s dad, giving her money to go to the movies, then picking them up and taking them to Dairy Queen. I found out from Linda that Judy had no taste in clothing growing up because she wanted to wear plaid and checks together. The laughter was contagious.
The first night for dinner, Cecil made BBQ ribs and chicken, Donna made coleslaw and Linda made a hot potato salad that was to die for. There were also pinto beans and ham with homemade corn bread. And just when you thought you couldn’t eat anymore, Linda pulled out two homemade chocolate pies, one homemade coconut cream pie and a homemade peach cream cheese something or other that was so good it could melt your hair!
We decided to head down to downtown Paducah to a street fair down on the river. I was worried that is was going to be crowded, but there was the perfect amount of people there. I quickly learned that you can dare Scott’s Aunt Carol to do anything and she will. I had her singing back up for a street singer and dancing with an intoxicated man named Mel who generously offered to take her home. All of the girls went on a carriage ride, where the young driver was given so much grief that I am sure he prayed for rapture to happen right there and then.
We finally headed for the hotel. The plan was to go to bed, but we all began to chat. Scott showed his aunts and uncle pictures of our house. His aunt and uncle showed us pictures of everything from being a fireman to their grandkids. We went to bed late that night with smiles on our faces and our stomachs hurting from laughing so hard.
The next morning, we took the breakfast area by storm. We took pictures like we were tourists and Scott’s Uncle Dave showed a home movie from his computer. It was from a time long ago and stirred emotions so strong, that I felt like an intruder watching it happen. It was there that I realized we all have a past that we can have regrets about, but that there is also good that comes from those regrets. And sometimes, you have to wait for years to finally see the good, but it is there…hidden in a home movie.
We finally head over to Linda’s house, but not before Scott’s Aunt Carol gave Courtney and Lacia (the only teenagers in the group) these OBNOXIOUS clackers. As punishment, I made Courtney and Lacia ride in their car for the day! The girls head to Patti’s Plantation, a village that was from the 1800’s. It has been converted into shops and restaurants. We walk through the shops and eat lunch together. We laugh and eat and just enjoy each other. During this time, the guys are at home watching the Indy 500 and telling lies about fishing.
That night Cecil made BBQ Hamburgers and we all ate chips brought by Scott’s Aunt Carol and Uncle Dave. I thought Scott was going to pull one of the bags and hoard them for himself. I can’t remember the brand, but Scott was very excited about them. We gorged ourselves. All of the adults were outside on the screened porch while the younger generation stayed in the kitchen. Scott’s Aunt Faye accidentally left her camera on our table. This is where the fun took a turn. With two teenagers, Scott, his cousin Trisha and me left to our own imaginations and someone else’s camera we got a little silly. Aunt Faye caught us and while trying not laugh did her best at scolding us. We were so far past being reasonably sane, that we didn’t care.
Finally, we all gathered on the screened in porch to take group shots with everyone’s camera. Inappropriate comments were made and pure enjoyment was caught on camera. New memories were made and old ones shared. I feel honored to be a part of this family.
The next day hugs were handed out and good-bye’s said with promises to do it again next year and to keep in touch. Hopefully, we will all keep our words. As we drove home, we each had something different that we liked the best, but all of us agreed that this weekend was one of our favorites.
Family can drive you crazy, make you mad and warm your heart all at the same time.
Isn’t great??!!
Scott’s mom is named Judy. This was for her side of the family.
Judy has two sisters, Carol and Faye. Carol is older and Faye is younger. Growing up, they would spend their summers in Kentucky on the farm of their mother’s sister. They have two cousins, Linda aka Sissy and Donna.
The host family for the reunion was Linda and her husband Cecil.
Once we got there, and the introductions were made, we moved inside and I said “okay tell me who everyone is and how you are all related.” Within minutes, photo albums were pulled out and stories started being told. I was able to sit back and see the joy on Judy’s face as she told the story of her uncle, Linda’s dad, giving her money to go to the movies, then picking them up and taking them to Dairy Queen. I found out from Linda that Judy had no taste in clothing growing up because she wanted to wear plaid and checks together. The laughter was contagious.
The first night for dinner, Cecil made BBQ ribs and chicken, Donna made coleslaw and Linda made a hot potato salad that was to die for. There were also pinto beans and ham with homemade corn bread. And just when you thought you couldn’t eat anymore, Linda pulled out two homemade chocolate pies, one homemade coconut cream pie and a homemade peach cream cheese something or other that was so good it could melt your hair!
We decided to head down to downtown Paducah to a street fair down on the river. I was worried that is was going to be crowded, but there was the perfect amount of people there. I quickly learned that you can dare Scott’s Aunt Carol to do anything and she will. I had her singing back up for a street singer and dancing with an intoxicated man named Mel who generously offered to take her home. All of the girls went on a carriage ride, where the young driver was given so much grief that I am sure he prayed for rapture to happen right there and then.
We finally headed for the hotel. The plan was to go to bed, but we all began to chat. Scott showed his aunts and uncle pictures of our house. His aunt and uncle showed us pictures of everything from being a fireman to their grandkids. We went to bed late that night with smiles on our faces and our stomachs hurting from laughing so hard.
The next morning, we took the breakfast area by storm. We took pictures like we were tourists and Scott’s Uncle Dave showed a home movie from his computer. It was from a time long ago and stirred emotions so strong, that I felt like an intruder watching it happen. It was there that I realized we all have a past that we can have regrets about, but that there is also good that comes from those regrets. And sometimes, you have to wait for years to finally see the good, but it is there…hidden in a home movie.
We finally head over to Linda’s house, but not before Scott’s Aunt Carol gave Courtney and Lacia (the only teenagers in the group) these OBNOXIOUS clackers. As punishment, I made Courtney and Lacia ride in their car for the day! The girls head to Patti’s Plantation, a village that was from the 1800’s. It has been converted into shops and restaurants. We walk through the shops and eat lunch together. We laugh and eat and just enjoy each other. During this time, the guys are at home watching the Indy 500 and telling lies about fishing.
That night Cecil made BBQ Hamburgers and we all ate chips brought by Scott’s Aunt Carol and Uncle Dave. I thought Scott was going to pull one of the bags and hoard them for himself. I can’t remember the brand, but Scott was very excited about them. We gorged ourselves. All of the adults were outside on the screened porch while the younger generation stayed in the kitchen. Scott’s Aunt Faye accidentally left her camera on our table. This is where the fun took a turn. With two teenagers, Scott, his cousin Trisha and me left to our own imaginations and someone else’s camera we got a little silly. Aunt Faye caught us and while trying not laugh did her best at scolding us. We were so far past being reasonably sane, that we didn’t care.
Finally, we all gathered on the screened in porch to take group shots with everyone’s camera. Inappropriate comments were made and pure enjoyment was caught on camera. New memories were made and old ones shared. I feel honored to be a part of this family.
The next day hugs were handed out and good-bye’s said with promises to do it again next year and to keep in touch. Hopefully, we will all keep our words. As we drove home, we each had something different that we liked the best, but all of us agreed that this weekend was one of our favorites.
Family can drive you crazy, make you mad and warm your heart all at the same time.
Isn’t great??!!
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